Article  The Brickie Today we bring you a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsleter of the English equivalent of the Workers Compensations Board. "Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information on the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust that the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note on my accident form that my weight is 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope." Added By Alastair Email alastairi@electricscotland.com Category Humour Author Alastair McIntyre Add To Favorites Print This Article Email Article To A Friend Post Comments   Rate This Article (3) 1 - Poor2345 - Good678910 - Excellent Added On Tue Feb 26th,2008     Relevant Images  No images have been Uploaded    Discussion Board: ottchip(ottchip2006@yahoo.com) : Wed Mar 19th,2008 10:57 am OUCH!!!!!!!!!! LOL ott grhsylvester(grhsylvester@aol.com) : Fri Jul 04th,2008 03:14 am Alastair, This was absolutely brilliant. Your depiction of the matter staggers the imagination. I can not stop laughing......Ray DonnaFlood(rlfflood@cableone.net) : Tue Jul 15th,2008 09:37 am What a contractor's nightmare! LOL donna Post Comments