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Of the Agent's Qualifications, and Ceremonies of their
Constitution.
WHEN the candidates for Satan’s
employment have, by a course of probation, given sufficient proofs of
their ability for the discharge of the duties of the profession they are
about to adopt, and when they have arrived at an age befitting the
importance of the calling, men and women are equally eligible, though it
is well known that women are preferred. Their initiation into infernal
orders is preceded by the execution of a formaI covenant with Satan,
sealed with the mutual blood of the parties, whereby, for the
considerations therein expressed, Satan engages, on one hand, to commit to
the entrant the various powers and qualifications which shall be detailed
in the following pages; and, on the other hand, the said entrant binds and
obliges himself, or herself, to apply himself, or herself, faithfully and
diligently in his service, by day and by night, promising to conceal the
secrets of his trade and profession, (much in the style of our common
indentures.) The candidates are then inducted into the mysteries and
secrets of their new profession with great pomp, in presence of the Royal
Grand-Master, who, set forth in proprio terrore, presides over the
ceremony. The place selected for this imposing ceremony is not
unfrequently a spacious lake or pool, the members of the craft in
attendance being furnished with their sea-worthy navy, their brooms and
riddles. The following particulars relative to an intended initiation,
which was attempted in Strathdown, "in the memory of the grandmothers of
some people still living," while it coveys some idea of such a scene as
that to which we alluded, may also prove a warning to those who may be
thoughtlessly led to embrace the profession:
"In the time of my grandmother, the farm of Delnabo
was proportionally divided between three tenants. At first equally
comfortable in their circumstances, it was in the course of some time
remarked by all, and by none more forcibly than by one of the said three
portioners, that, although superior in point of industry and talent to his
two fellow-portioners, one of the tenants was daily lapsing into poverty,
while his two neighbours were daily improving in estate. Amazed and
grieved at the adverse fortune which thus attended his family, compared to
the prosperous condition of his neighbours, the wife of the poor man was
in the habit of expressing her astonishment at the circumstance, not only
to her own particular friends, but likewise to the wives of her neighbours
themselves. On one of these occasions, the other two wives asked her what
would she do to ameliorate her condition, if it were in her power? She
answered them, she would do any thing whatever. (Here the other wives
thought they had got a gudgeon, that would snap at any bait, and
immediately resolved to make her their confidant. "Well, then," says one
of the other two wives, "if you agree to keep our communications strictly
secret, and implicitly obey our instructions, neither poverty nor want
shall ever assail you more." This speech of the other wife immediately
impressed the poor man’s wife with a strong suspicion of their real
character. Dissembling all surprise at the circumstance, she promised to
agree to all their conditions. She was then directed, when she went to bed
that night, to carry along with her the floor-broom, well known for its
magical properties, which she was to leave by her husband’s side in the
course of the night, and which would represent her so exactly, that the
husband could not distinguish the difference in the morning. They, at the
same time, enjoined her to discard all fears of detection, as their own
husbands had been satisfied with those lovely substitutes (the brooms) for
a great number of years. Matters being thus arranged, she was desired to
join them at the hour of midnight, in order to accompany them to that
scene which was to realize her future happiness.
"Promising to attend to their instructions, the poor
man’s wife took leave of her neighbours, full of those sensations of
horror which the discovery of such depravity was calculated to produce in
a virtuous mind. Hastening home to her husband, she thought it no crime to
break her promise to her wicked neighbours, and, like a dutiful and
prudent wife, to reveal to the husband of her bosom the whole particulars
of their interview. The husband greatly commended his wife’s fidelity, and
immediately entered into a collusion with her, which displays no ordinary
degree of ingenuity. It was agreed, that the husband should exchange
apparel with the wife, and that he should, in this disguise, accompany the
wives to the place appointed, to see what can-trips they intended to
perform. He accordingly arrayed himself in his wife’s habiliments, and, at
the hour of midnight, joined the party at the place appointed. The ‘Bride,’
as they called him, was most cordially received by the two
Ladies of the Broom, who warmly congratulated the’ Bride’ upon
her good fortune, and the speedy
consummation of her happiness.
He was then presented with a fir torch, a broom, and a riddle, articles
with which they themselves were furnished. They directed their course
along the banks of the rolling Avon until they reached Craicpolnajn, or
the Craig of the Birdspool. Here, in consequence of the steepness of the
craig, they found it convenient to pass to the other side of the river.
This passage they effected without the use of their navy, the river being
fordable at the place. They then came in sight of Pol-nain, and, lo! what
human eye ever witnessed such a scene before! The pool appeared as if
actually enveloped in a flame of fire. A hundred torches blazed aloft,
reflecting their beams on the towering woods of Loyrichork. And what ear
ever heard such shrieks and yells as proceeded from the horrid crew
engaged at their hellish orgies on PoI-nain. Those cries were, however,
sweet music to the two wives of Delnabo. Every yell produced from them as
burst of unrestrained pleasure, and away they frisked, leaving the amiable
bride a considerable way behind. For the fact is, that he was in no
hurry to reach the scene, and when he did reach it, it was with a
determination to be only a spectator, and, not a participator in the
night’s performance. On reaching the pool’s side he saw what was going.
on,—he saw abundance of hags steering themselves to and fro in their
riddles, by means of their oars the brooms, hallooing and skirling worse
than the bogies, and each holding in her left hand a torch of fir,—whilst
at other times they would swirl themselves into a row, and make profound
obeisance to a large black ugly tyke, perched on a lofty rock, who was no
doubt the ‘muckle thief’ himself, and who was pleased to acknowledge most
graciously those expressions of their loyalty and devotion, by bowing,
grinning, and clapping his paws. Having administered to, the bride
some preliminary instructions, the impatient wives desired him to remain
by the pool’s side until they should cornmune with his Satanic Highness on
the subject of her inauguration, directing her, as they
proceeded on their voyage across the pool, to speed them in their master’s
name. To this order of the black pair, the bride was resolved to
pay particular attention. As soon as they were embarked in their riddles,
and had wriggled themselves, by means of their brooms, into a proper depth
of water, ‘Go,’ says he, ‘in the name of the Best.’ A horrid yell from the
witches announced their instant fate,—the magic spell was now dissolved -
crash went the riddles, and down sank the two witches, never more to rise,
amidst the shrieks and lamentations of the Old Thief and all his infernal
crew, whose combined power and policy could not save them from a watery
end. All the torches were extinguished in an instant, and the affrighted
company fled in different directions, in such forms and sirniltudes as
they thought most convenient for them to adopt, and the wily bride
returned home at his leisure, enjoying himself vastly at the clever manner
in which he had executed the instructions of his deceased friends. On
arriving at his house, he dressed himself in his own clothes, and, without
immediately satisfying his wife’s curiosity at the result of his
excursion, he yoked his cattle, and commenced his morning labours with as
little concern as usual. His two neighbours, who were not even conscious
of the absence of their wives, (so ably substituted were they by the
brooms,) did the same. Towards breakfast-time, however, the two neighbours
were not a little astonished that they observed no signs of their wives
having risen from bed—notwithstanding their customary earliness — and this
surprise they expressed to the late bride, their neighbour. The
latter archly remarked, that he had great suspicions, in his own mind, of
their rising even that day. ‘What, mean you by that?’ replied they.
‘We left our wives apparently in good health when we ourselves arose.’—’
Find them now,’ was the reply—the bride setting up as merry a whistle as
before. Running each to his bed, what was the astonishment of the
husbands, when, instead of his wife, he only found an old broom. Their
neighbour then told them, that, if they chose to ‘examine Pol-nain well,
they would find both their dear doxies there. The grieving husbands
accordingly proceeded thither, and, with the necessary instruments,
dragged their late worthy partners to dry land; and afterwards privately
interred them. The shattered vessels and oars of those unfortunate
navigators, whirling about the pool, satisfied their lords of the manner
by which they came to their ends;
and their names were no longer mentioned by their kindred in the
land. It need scarcely be added, that the poor man gradually recovered his
former opulence; and that, in the course of a short time, he was
comparatively as rich as he was formerly poor." |
