Ye've heard hoo the deil, as he
wauchel'd through Beith,
Wi' a wife in ilka oxter and ane in
When someone cried oot, "Will ye tak'
mine the morn?"
He wagged his auld tail while he
cocked his horn,
But only said Imph-m! That useful
Wi' sic a big mouthfu' he couldna
say - ay!
When I was a laddie langsyne at the
The maister aye ca'd me a dunce and
For a' that I said, I could ne'er
Unless when he bawl'd, "Jamie, haud
oot er han'!"
Then I gloom'd and said Imph-m, I
glaunch'd and said Imph-m,
I wisna ower proud, but ower dour to
say - ay!
Ae day a queer word, as lang
He vow'd he would thrash me if I
Quo' I, "Maister Quill," wi' a kin
o' a swither,
"I'll spell ye the word if ye'll
spell me anither:
Let's hear ye spell Imph-m, that
common word Imph-m,
That auld Scotch word Imph-m, ye ken
it means - ay!"
Had ye seen hoo he glower'd, hoo he
scratched his big pate,
An' shouted, "Ye villain, get oot o'
Get aff to yer seat, ye're the
plaque o' the schule!
The deil o' me kens if maist rogue
But I only said Imph-m, that common
That auld farran' Imph-m, that
stan's for an - ay!
An' when a brisk wooer, I courted my
O Aron's braw Isaacs the pride an'
the Queen -
When 'neath my grey plaidie wi'
heart beatin' fain,
I speired in a whisper if she'd be
She blushed and said Imph-m, that
charming word Imph-m,
A thousan' times better and sweeter