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Roman Holiday

When the Romans invaded Britain, they did not succeed in conquering Scotland and the local Roman General was very nervous about his reputation being at stake. In one skirmish in Glasgow, he was appalled to see two Glasgow keelies. armed only with cut-throat razors, carving up his legionnaries.

    "They'll never believe this in Rome" he groaned "unless I can show them what these keelies are like."
So he gave orders that the two keelies were to be be taken alive. After much slaughter, they were, and he triumphantly conveyed them to Rome. A great day in the arena was arranged and savage beasts from all over the Empire were brought to face the keelies. On the night before the fight, the two keelies were given a feast and their choice of the damsels. Next morning they compared notes.
    "Hou did ye get on, Jock?" asked Sandy.
    "Great" said Jock "A had a great big smashin blonde. Fegs, she wis a richt smasher. Efter we haed our chuck, we sat doun wi muckle goblets o wine an then we .... " Jock stopped and took out his razor.
    "Go on, Jock. Tell's whit haippent neist."
    "Haud on, A'll tell ye efter" replied Jock "here come thae bliddy lions."           

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