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First Class Extravagance

Having done a substantial amount of business with the Railway Company, a worthy merchant from the Buchan area had been presented, as was the custom, with two First Class Return Tickets to London. He immediately presented himself at the Stationmaster's office and demanded the difference in cash between the cost of the First Class and Third Class fares.

    "Ye weill ken eneuch" complained the merchant "that I nivver traivel furst cless."
    "Well" replied the Stationmaster "it is all the same to the Railway Company whether you travel first or third class. You can, of course, travel third class if you prefer it that way,"
    "Haivers mannie" replied the merchant "ye canna get awa frae the fack that the tickets entitle me an my wife ti traivel furst cless - an gin we're contentit wi thurd cless, shairlie I'm entitled ti the difference back."
    "But" the official patiently explained "you are under no obligation to go first class - and I will exchange your first clas tickets for third class with pleasure. But you must see that no money can be returned when no money was paid !"
The argument went on in this way for a long time, but the Stationmaster was emphatic that no cash would be refunded. At last the merchant gave up.
    "Aweill" he grumbled as he turned away " I suppose I'll juist neid ti gang furst cless. But I ca' it naethin short o damned extravance !"

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