Oh, oh, Glory Hallelujah,
Cod Liver Oil and the Orange Juice.
Oot o the East there cam a hard man.
A’, A’, the way frae Brigton.
He went intae a pub an he cam oot paralytic.
Aw haw, V. P. an cider.
‘Does this bus go tae the Denny Palais,
Aw haw, I’m lookin for a lumber,’
In the Palais he met Hairy Mary,
Aw haw, the flo’er o the Calton.
He says tae her : ‘Hey hen are ye dancing?’
‘Naw, naw, it’s just the way ah’m staunin.’
He says tae her : ‘Ye’re wan in a million.’
‘Aw, haw so’s yer chances.’
‘Can I run ye hame, I’ve gpt a pair o sannies.’
‘Aw haw, ye’re helluva funny.’
Up the back close an doon the dunny.
Naw, naw, it wisna for the first time.
Her mammy came oot tae go tae the didgy.
Aw haw, he buggered aff sharpish.
She tried tae find the hard man. He’d jined the Foreign
Aw haw, Sahara an the camels.
So Hairy Mary had a little baby.
Aw haw, its faither’s in the Airmy.