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Ranald's Collection of Sayings and Verses
Some One Liners


A collection of sayings, mainly one line ones, collected over the years.

  • Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are, who
    already possess it.

  • The trying time for the Atheist is when he feels thankful but has nobody to thank.

  • The man who blows his own trumpet is usually a soloist.

  • Happiness is not inherited, it's got to be earned.

  • It's better to go straight than move in the best circles.

  • The man who continuously watches the clock usually stays as one of the hands.

  • The man who thinks he can't, is usually right.

  • Thoughts are your own, but words are not.

  • Nothing can bring peace but yourself.

  • Conscience is the little thing that tells you someone is sure to find out.

  • A man makes a step forward when he realises he has made a mistake.

  • All that stands between most men and the top of the ladder is the ladder.

  • It's not the clock that ticks loudest that goes best.

  • Dignity of manners always conveys a sense of reserve force.

  • When pleasure becomes a habit it ceases to be a pleasure.

  • The man who says he has no Call has probably left the Receiver off.

  • It is never so difficult to speak as when we are ashamed of our silence.

  • The best time to worry is tomorrow.

  • It's not work that kills, it is worry. Work is healthy, worry is the rust on the blade.

  • Don't screen to-days sunshine with yesterdays clouds.

  • It's the man that works when there is nothing to do that gets in front.

  • The man who thinks he can't is usually right.

  • He is wise who says nothing when he has nothing to say.

  • Friends show me what I can do. Foes teach me what I should do.

  • Jumping to conclusions is about the only mental exercise that some people take.

  • A man can go a long way when he is weary - don't give up.

  • A wise man changes his mind sometimes, a fool never.

  • Only poverty is got without pains.

  • The shortest answer is doing the thing.

  • Argument thrives when facts are scarce.

  • The secret of success is constancy to purpose.

  • I have lived too long not to find it easier to love animals than to love man.

  • Children tell me on the highway what they hear at the fireside.

  • Show how strong you are by not noticing the weakness in others.

  • As proof that you have a true sense of humour, laugh at yourself occasionally.

  • Four-fifths of the perjury of the world is expended on tombstones.

  • There is nothing that needs to be said in an unkind manner.

  • The man who does big things is too busy to talk about them.

  • Contentment consists not in great wealth but in few wants.

  • Speech is the gift of nearly all, but the thought of few.

  • A mistake is not serious unless it is repeated.

  • He who knows others is clever, but he who knows himself is enlightened.

  • Happiness is a condition of the mind, not a result of circumstances.

  • We keep the faults of others before our eyes, our own behind our back.

  • Nothing great was ever achieve without enthusiasm.

  • Remember nature has given us two eyes, two ears but only one mouth.

  • Burdens can broaden your shoulders or break your back.

  • A poor man hasn't much to do with lawyers - but some of them have had.

  • Thoughts are your own. Your words are so no more.

  • Old age begins when a man dislikes improvements.

  • There is no ill luck in turning back if you are on the wrong road.

  • The only way to look pleasant is to feel pleasant.

  • Silence oft speaks the most cruel lies.

  • If a man makes himself a worm, then he must accept that way of life and not complain when
    trodden on.

  • Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

  • The only way to have a friend is to be one.

  • Life is half spent before we know what it is.

  • The more one knows, the more one simplifies.

  • The best gift is a good example.

  • We are not judged by the position we are in, but by the way we fill it.

  • On the death of a child. Can you imagine heaven without children?

  • It is easier to offer objections than it is to get busy.

  • Beware of flattering yourself that you are shrewd when you are only suspicious.

  • If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself.

  • The way to get ahead - use the one you have.

  • Never put off till tomorrow the smile you can give today.

  • Watch your tongue. Remember it is in a wet place and likely to slip.

  • A man possessed with a serene mind is the happiest of all God's creation.

  • Knowledge is boundless - human capacity is limited.

  • The universe is a wise man's library.

  • Don't marry for money - it's far cheaper to borrow it.

  • If you want things done call a busy man - the man of leisure has no time.

  • It's what you learn yourself - not what others teach you - that really matters.

  • Cut your own wood and it will warm you twice.

  • Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.

  • There is nothing in this world worth doing a mean action for.

  • There is still plenty of room at the top, but the top is higher than it used to be.

  • What more of us needs most is to need less.

  • Don't rest on your laurels - they make poor mattress.

  • If you wish to honour a person - do it while they are still alive.

  • Laws are like cobwebs. The small flies get caught, and the great break through.

  • The way to be safe is never to feel too secure.

  • The majority are stimulated by a little honest recognition.

  • The more you know the fewer your competitors.

  • Use your stumbling blocks as stepping stones.

  • If a man could have half his wishes he would double his troubles.

  • Love is the silent picture; and marriage the talking version.

  • The weaker the argument the stronger the words.

  • A cheerful loser is a winner.

  • Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.

  • Don't talk about yourself - that will be done when you leave.

  • Your looking glass will tell you more about yourself than your friends.

  • No man is poor who has himself to give.

  • Be a live wire and no one will step on you.

  • A Golden Wedding is when a couple have gone fifty-fifty.

  • Hard work is the yeast that raises the 'dough'.

  • If we could see ourselves as others see us we would probably change our views.

  • The person who wants their dreams to come true should wake up.

  • It is better to ask once than go wrong twice.

  • There is no knowledge that is not valuable.

  • If at first you don't succeed - ask yourself why.

  • Always laugh when you can, it's cheap medicine.

  • Facts not theories govern the world.

  • People who tell you that they bath and dress for dinner are evidently not used to it.

  • We are not judged by the position we are in, but by the way we fill it.

  • When a good idea comes into your mind, don't give it a seat; put it to work.

  • Joy which we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed.

  • A dance never seem too long when you have the right partner.

  • It's the ability that a person uses, not the ability they possess, that regulates the reward.

  • Best to bend it while still a twig.

  • The people who believe in themselves are often easily convinced.

  • The better the service given to customers, the less it costs to serve them.

  • Looking for new ways to do old jobs means progress.

  • Tolerance is the threshold of peace.

  • Loss of interest, not years, is old age.

  • It is what we learn after we think we know it all that counts.

  • History is philosophy teaching by example.

  • Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you.

  • Delegate responsibility. The big mind must be kept for the big job.

  • Youth lives on hope; old age on memory.

  • The future is not a gift to any of us. It is the reward for what we do now.

  • It is not so important to know how we stand, as it is to know that we are moving.

  • You never feel the ache in the other man's tooth.

  • The good we do today becomes the happiness of to-morrow.

  • Watch your opportunities - not the clock.

  • Often a highly polished person is dreadfully dull.

  • Wonder is involuntary praise.

  • Concentrate, it saves time and money.

  • God gives every bird its food, but does not throw it into the nest.

  • The wise man makes hay with the grass that grows under the other fellow's feet.

  • Confidence is the secret of strength.

  • To be simple about anything you have to know a great deal about it.

  • It is madness to live like a wretch and die rich.

  • An optimist is one who learns to play the harp.

  • Something for nothing is like fish bait - generally a hook on it.

  • Contentment consists, not in great wealth, but in few wants.

  • A loving heart is the beginning of knowledge.

  • Be severe with nobody but yourself.

  • When there is a twinkle in the eye there is a spark of heaven in the heart.

  • If you can give your child only one gift let it be enthusiasm.

  • To ignore the danger is to deserve the disaster.

  • The secret of life is not to do what one likes, but to try and like what one has to do.

  • It is better to be happy than rich, but there is no harm in being both.

  • I'd rather have one blossom now than a thousand when I'm dead.

  • A thought on the kerbstone is worth two in the hospital.

  • The day dawns only to those who are awake.

  • The qualities we possess never make us so ridiculous as those we pretend to have.

  • We should not be judged by the position we are in, but the way we fill it.

  • Joy which we cannot share with others is only half enjoyed.

  • The nice thing about apathy is you don't have to exert yourself to show that your are sincere about it.

  • The incessant breathing of the waves.

  • Gulls like crumpled tissue-paper cast away on the heaving air.

  • Sunset kindling on the sea.

  • The greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer.

  • From a Sussex parish magazine: "The weather was kind to us and the vicarage garden was packed with young men and women bent on enjoying themselves. It was the biggest open air fathering in the village for years."

  • G K Chesterton once said that it is often supposed that when people stopped believing in God, they believe in nothing.  Alas, it is worse than that. When they stop believing in God they believe in anything.

  • A banker who swallowed a fish-bone was saved by an eminent surgeon from death by suffocation.
    The banker asked him what he expected as a fee. Replied the surgeon, "just give me one third of what you were willing to pay when the fish-bone was still stuck in your throat.

  • I asked the paediatrician when I should stop sterilizing my son's bottles. "Well," he said, "one
    day you will find Matthew in your wardrobe busily gnawing on a pair of your husband's shoes.
    You will say to yourself, 'And I'm sterilizing his bottles?"' That is when you will stop."

  • "How long have you been wearing bifocals?" "Since yesterday, I was baking some biscuits I
    lifted up the fly swatter and killed four chocolate chips."

  • Noise pollution is a relative thing. In a city, it's a jet plane taking off. In a monastery, it's a pen
    that scratches.

  • Some years ago when applying for a job, the foreman of the firm asked for a reference. I gave
    it to him, and he went into the manager's office. A few moments later they both emerged smiling
    broadly. "this is some reference indeed, with good recommendations," said the manager. I got
    the job but found that, instead of a reference, I had handed in a love letter from my fiancee typed
    on similar paper.

  • A little girl in Sunday school was asked to describe Jesus. "Jesus," she said, "is like God but
    with skin on".

  • There are three types of people: those who make things happen, those that watch things happen
    and those who say, "What happened?"

  • Denis and I almost missed our honeymoon flight and were unable to get seats together. When
    airborne, I wrote to my new spouse a flirtatious note: "To the man sitting in 16C. I find you very
    attractive. would you care for an unforgettable evening? The lady in 4C." A stewardess delivered it.
    A few minutes later she returned with a cocktail. The man in 16C was flattered, she told me, but
    said he must decline my offer as he was on his honeymoon. I was still laughing when we landed.
    "Thank you for the drink," I said to my groom. "I didn't send you one," he replied. He had been
    sitting in number 14C. Cindy Braun.

  • The little boy was heard by his teacher using a most unsuitable word. "Jeffrey," she said, "you
    should not use that word. Where did you hear it?" " My daddy said it." "Well that does not
    matter," the teacher explained. "You do not even know what it means." "I do, I do" Jeffrey
    corrected. "it means that the car won't start."
    - James Dent in Charleston Gazette.

  • Missionary in Africa wrote to Church offices in Britain to say that the African members could
    not understand what was meant by the "Lamb of God". A good lady in the Church offices knitted
    a lamb in white wool and sent it out to Africa - no one ever heard what was the reaction - we can
    only guess.

  • It often needs an open mind to keep one's mouth shut.

  • Write it down. The worst ink survives the best memory.

  • Only a mint can make money without advertising.

  • Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

  • Having full length mirrors in a small flat is like having a guest who never leaves.

  • People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.

  • Some parents have difficulty in deciding on a name for a new baby, but others have rich
    relatives.

  • The quickest way to make a red light turn green is to try to find something in the glove
    compartment.

  • Age is in the mind, not in the calendar.

  • You should take time to smell the flowers.

  • It is a wise man that has his afterthoughts first.

  • Greatness does not depend on size.

  • The Queen Mother once philosophized: "Memories are everyone's second chance at happiness."

  • It's what you learn yourself - not what other's teach you - that really matters.

  • Never let a fool kiss you, and never let a kiss fool you.

  • No one ever became thoroughly bad all at once.

  • The wise man changes his mind sometimes, the fool never.

  • In motoring arguments there are three points of view - your own, the other parties and the
    right one.

  • The longer you live, the more you will realise that forgivness, consideration, and kindness are
    three of the great secrets of life.

  • Want of care does more damage than want of knowledge.

  • When the devil wants to win recruits he never wastes time among busy people.

  • Some so-called open minds should be closed for repairs

  • A man's religion should be the happiest thing in his life

  • Worry is not a neccessity, but a habit

  • An agreeable companion upon the road is better than a carriage

  • A wise man never blows his own knows

  • Mirth cannot move a soul in agony

  • It is from books wise men derive consolation in the troubles of life

  • Keep your face in the sunshine and the shadow will fall behind you

  • By the faults of others, wise men correct their own

  • Adversity makes a man wise - not rich

  • The face is no index to the heart

  • Better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool, than open it and remove any doubt

  • Fear is a great inventor

  • A country without laughter is like a year without Spring

  • Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive Walter Scott

  • Haste is the mother of imperfection

  • Health is not valued until sickness comes

  • "What kind of man deserves the most pity?" - Benjamin Franklin replied "A lonely man on a
    rainy day who does not know how to read".

  • An ounce of "don't-say-it" is worth a pound of "didn't-mean-it"

  • Photocopiers make rapid reproductions of human errors

  • Nothing is impossible until it is sent to a committee

  • The first 90% of a job takes 10% of the time - the remaining 10% takes 90%

  • If you can learn from another person's mistake, you were probably the victim

  • If you don't make mistakes - you don't make anything

  • Every dew-drop and rain drop has a whole heaven within it

  • Remember the tide turns at low water, as well as high

  • Whispering is rude when your friends are near you - beside you risk being overheard

  • He was a bold man that eat that ate the first oyster

  • A man owes it to himself to become a success, then he owes it to the inland revenue

  • Come not to counsel uncalled.

  • Learning is a treasure which accompanies its owner everywhere (Chinese Proverb)

  • Look before you leap if you like, but if you really mean to leap, don't look too long.

  • Ideas are very much like children - your own are wonderful.

  • We cannot, indeed give like God, but surely we may forgive like Him (Sterne)

  • To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting

  • No man can guess in cold blood what he may do in a passion

  • Footprints on the sands of time are not made sitting down

  • It's the tools a man uses, not the tools he may possess, that makes his profit

  • A mans honesty is proportional to his price.

  • Many a man's honesty is due to the fact that his price is too high.

  • Those that forget history are condemned to relive it. George Santayana

  • From City of London Police reprints
    The man was employed by the electricity board when the offence came to light.
    The upholsterer was unable to furnish details
    The woman was pregnant and carrying a pup
    The watchmaker was dismissed for poor timekeeping
    The man stole a box of matches and other light articles

  • Travellers tales
    We're on holiday, for goodness sake!
    I thought you said you could get by in Spanish
    I don't know what was wrong with the first bar we saw
    So much for your famous sense of direction
    Of course we don't have to book

  • May your joys be as sweet as the peat reek, and your sorrows as scarce as white heather.

  • May your troubles be as many as teeth in a hen.

  • There is no friendship, no love, like that of a parent for the child

  • What gift has Providence bestowed on humanity that is so dear as the children

  • Where children are, there is the golden age

  • Children are like jewels dropped unstained from heaven

  • Have a heart that never hardens,
    and a temper that never tires,
    and a touch that never hurts.

  • Some people will always live until they die, but at 60 you should be dying to live

  • At 60 I am not interested in adding years to my life, but in adding life to my years

  • Stastistics are no substitute for Judgement

  • Life is a sexually transmitted desease, ultimately fatal

  • 95% of being smart is knowing the subjects at which you are dumb

  • Difference between a diplomat and a lady:
    When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps.
    When he says perhaps, he means no.
    When he says no, he is not a diplomat.

  • When a lady says no, she means perhaps.
    When she says perhaps she means yes.
    When she says yes, she is no lady.

  • Lord Denning

    Forget your hurry, pause awhile,
    Lose your frown and wear a smile,
    Spare time to give a word of praise.
    Think in minuites, not in days.
    Do it now for time won't wait -
    Tomorrow it may be too late.

  • Failure is never fatal and success is never final

  • Lawyer's duty: to protect you from others of their kind

  • Evolution is God's Spring

  • Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive Walter Scott

  • Photocopiers make rapid reproductions of human errors

  • Nothing is impossible until it is sent to a government department

  • When a person thinks their mind is getting broader, it is often just their mind stretching

  • Each of us comes into life with fists closed, set for aggressiveness and aquisition. But when we
    abandon life our hands are open: there is nothing on earth that we need, nothing the soul can
    take with it.
    Bishop Fulton Sheen

  • When we are born our hands are clenched to grasp the things we need in life, but when we die
    our hands are open as there is nothing that we can take with us.

  • Watch your thoughts; they become words.
    Watch you words; they become actions.
    Watch your actions; they become habits.
    Watch your habits; they become character.
    Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
    Frank Outlaw, writer

  • T S Elliot - the Four Quartets
    Time present and time past
    Are both perhaps present in time future
    And time future contained in time past

  • Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage. Anonymous

  • Optimists are wrong just as often as pessimists, but they enjoy life.

  • The following prayer is from a tiny booklet, Jesus, my Shepherd, subtitled a Book of Catholic
    Prayers for Seniors.  It could empathise, since Multiple Sclerosis seems to share many of these complaints.

  • A litany of Gentle Complaint.
    Lord, a few things on my mind today, as I sit and rest for a while.
    I think you won't mind listening, for you made me this way and you already know me through
    and through.
    Lord, it's my eyes: their tired. I can't see too well, it's hard to read the paper or watch TV, and
    I just can't find the right glasses when I need them.
    Lord, it's my ears: nobody speaks loud enough, music is always too strong. I can't hear the
    priest at Mass, but I do like the quiet home:
    Christ, have mercy.
    Lord: my knees and legs: they won't do what I tell them, they fall asleep too fast, and those
    steps are just too steep:
    Lord, have mercy.
    Lord, food: it just don't taste the same, it gets harder to shop and cook, and I can't eat what
    I want to anyway:
    Christ, have mercy.
    Lord, the pains and aches: there are new ones every day, at times I am embarrassed before
    other people, and then I worry about having something serious happen:
    Lord, have mercy.
    Lord. there are too many pills: I can't seem to keep them straight or take them at the right
    time, and sometimes I worry I may take too many or too few:
    Christ, have mercy.
    Lord, I'm lonely: the phone never rings, I haven't had visitors in ages, and when they do come
    I'm not much of a host:
    Christ, have mercy.
    Lord, sleep: can't rest all night, and then I nod off during the day, it makes me impatient and
    irritable, and my memory has gone to the dogs:
    Lord, have mercy.
    Lord, you sure do have a sense of humour, you've made for Yourself. Bear with me as I try to
    figure out how best to give myself to You these days.
    Lord, hear us. Christ, graciously hear us.
    Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me.

  • John Keats
    The automobile changed our dress, manners, social customs, vacation habits, shape of our cities, consumer purchasing patterns, common tastes and positions in intercourse.

  • If Detroit is right.... there is little wrong with American cars that is not wrong with the American
    public.

  • The automobile did not put the adventure of travel within reach of the common man. Instead, it
    first gave him the opportunity to make himself more and more common.

  • Marshall McLuhan
    The car has become the carspace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.

  • The new electronic interdependance re-creates the world in the image of a global village. (The
    Gutenberg Galaxy).

  • The principal aspect of the electric age is, that it establishes a global network, that has much of
    the character of our central nervous system.

  • Lord Birket
    I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make sure they are still going.

  • The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living (Cicero BC 106 - 43)

  • A man's dying is more the survivor's affair than his own (Thomas Mann 1875 - 1955)

  • This day, which thou fearest as thy last, is the birthday of eternity (Seneca BC 3 - AD65)

  • The Gods conceal from men the happiness of death, that they may endure life (Lucan 39 - 65 AD)

  • Oh how small a portion of earth will hold us when we are dead, who ambitiously seek after the
    whole world when we are living. (Phillip II BD 382 - 336)

  • There is no such thing as death
    In nature nothing dies
    From each sad remnant of decay
    Some forms of life arise.
    (Charles Mackay 1814 - 1889)

  • I died a mineral, and became a plant.
    I died a plant and rose an animal.
    I died an animal and I was man.
    Why should I fear ?
    When was I less by dying ?
    (Jalal-Uddin Rumi 1207 - 1273)


    FAVOURITE QUOTES

  • "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

  • Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of
    which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
    then Providence moves too.

  • All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream
    of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and
    meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.

  • Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

  • Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

  • from "Notes on the Scottish Himalayan Expedition" by William H. Murray. The last three
    sentences beginning with "Whatever you can do..." is a quote from Goethe.

  • There is no end to what can be accomplished if you don't care who gets the credit.
    -Art Rennison.

  • Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed it is the only thing that ever has.
    - Margaret Mead

  • Think globally; act locally
    - anonymous

  • Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence.
    - Roedy

  • All great programmers are paranoid
    - Roedy

  • An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
    - Gandhi

  • We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain it wasn't a fish.
    - John Culkin

  • When elephants fight it is the grass that suffers.
    - Kikuyu Proverb

  • Make something beautiful for God
    - Mother Theresa

  • Face your fears
    - Barbara Green

  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
    - The Golden Rule

  • Be the planetary citizen you want everyone else to be.
    - Roedy

  • Imitation is the sincerest flattery
    - Gandhi

  • Love your enemies. Do good to them that persecute you.
    - Jesus

  • I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings
    since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people:
    - The Seventh Pathway from Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes

  • I am discovering how my consciousness-dominating addictions create my illusory version of the
    changing world of people and situations around me.
    - The Second Pathway from Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes

  • I am perceiving everyone, includirng myself as an awakening being who is here to claim his or
    her birthright to the higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness.
    - The Twelfth Pathway from Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes

  • You are the people. You are this season's people -- There are no other people this season. If you blow it, it's blown.
    - Stephen Gaskin

  • Enlightenment is getting off your tail and doing something.
    - Stephen Gaskin

    SOLIDARITY

  • I bought a crab and set him free in the ocean.

    DISAPPOINTMENT

  • I pointed at the bun I wanted most in the whole store.
    The saleslady gave me something else with the same name.

    LUNCH DATE

  • I went to buy a crab today to set her free in the ocean.
    There were no she crabs for sale.

    PRIMES

  • Today, I bought another crab and set him free in the ocean.

  • (for Dr. Melzak my math professor who survived the Nazi concentration camps with by entertaining
    with his feats of mental arithmetic.)

    ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW

  • We listened with a herd of elk.

    BECKY

  • I talked. She understood.

    RABBIT GOD

  • Street people bring offerings of carrot and apple to the blue rabbit.

    BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR

  • A spider mysteriously appeared in my bathtub.
    She chose my aloe plant for her new home.

    FOR MANNY

  • A woman sewed a rainbow into my coat.

  • One should strive not to lie in the negative sense by remaining silent.
    - Leo Tolstoy

  • With great power comes great responsibility, Quoted by Jack Passarella in an Ilink conference

 


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