One for
the road or
Band of Hope
I had eighteen bottles of whisky in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the
contents of each
and every bottle down the sink. Or else......
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first
bottle and
poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank.
I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception
of one glass,
which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle, and poured the whisky down the sink, which
I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink, and poured the bottle down the
glass, which I
drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the
rest down the
glass, which I drank.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass, bottled the drink and drank the poured the cork
down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses,
corks, bottles
and sinks with the other, which were 29, as the house came by I counted them again, and
finally had all
the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I’m not under the afluence of incohol, as some tinkle peep I am. I’m not half as
thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I
get.
Oh me !!
Bob Hope.
printed in Euragonna 1951.
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