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Ranald's Collection of Sayings and Verses
Getting rid of full whisky bottles


One for the road or Band of Hope

I had eighteen bottles of whisky in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each
and every bottle down the sink. Or else......

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and
poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle, and poured the whisky down the sink, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink, and poured the bottle down the glass, which I
drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the
glass, which I drank.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass, bottled the drink and drank the poured the cork down the bottle.

Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other, which were 29, as the house came by I counted them again, and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I’m not under the afluence of incohol, as some tinkle peep I am. I’m not half as thunk as you might drink.

I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

Oh me !!

Bob Hope.

printed in Euragonna 1951.


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