Re: The meeting a few of the
alumni and interested folks had on the visit to Chilocco, January 9, 2005
Good Morning Sis, It's come to my better sense that I not go, even though my
heart is saying yes. Maybe there will another time if you can get this to be
an annual thing as you mentioned earlier.
As You and I both know the
heartbreaking conditions the buildings are in, will be devastating for
others as they tour for the first time in many years. It's good you have
posted pictures on the your internet site, at least they'll have an idea
what to expect. It's one thing to see and another to be there in person
seeing the grounds wasting away.
The time Rachel, Mother and I
had gone through, we stopped at our old apt building, Rachel and I went
inside. It was an overwhelming feeling to see absolutly not a thing had
changed. Not the color on the walls, not the screens on the windows, not the
As I showed Rachel around,
explaining how the furniture was situated, where My Dad, my new husband and
I stood in the back yard on our wedding day, as someone took a picture of
us, where Aunt Tillie lived across the hall. Where Grandpa Hernandez worked
in the dining room when at the height of enrollment 2000 students were fed
three times a day. Where Aunt Tillie worked at the power plant where her
first office was, then moving into the main office.
The student union where
mother kept "the store" on campus making sure all the essentials and then
some, that were needed were available. When old enough, I went to work with
her and became part of the "canteen" crew. Campus students were employed
giving them their first chance to see how commerce worked outside the campus
without leaving the safety of the grounds.
My life flashed before my
We always try to remember the
good and forget the bad and thats what I gave to my oldest daughter. The
good times I had growing up on the grounds. It was very very healing to go
back and visit my old room, my closet, my home as I knew it in childhood
from the 5th grade untill graduation from Newkirk High School. "Our tour"
embraced me. It reminded me where I came from, grounded my soul and reminded
me of who I really am. Often times we need to get in touch with that part of
our lives in order to move ahead in life. So many happy times and chosing
not to remember the other. It made everything in the present here and now
As we drove what seemed to be
the longest mile back to the highway, once the first tear fell, a flood came
after and there was no way I could stop them. Somehow my daughter knew what
I was feeling as she stopped the car, wrapped her arms around me and I
buried my face into her shoulder. For once I let myself be nurtured,
something adults often don't have the chance or are afraid to let go.
I fell apart.