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“What do you think about weekly visits and following through with an
exercise program at the center?” I asked. Rod had ordered a pizza and as
we were quietly enjoying it while Rhonda slept.
“Whatever you want to
do.” Rodney wouldn't be involved to a great extent since he was working.
“I'm not sure of anything at this point
but I'll see about giving it a try. It will be worth it to feel I'm doing
something, at least. If I'm with Rhonda and do the therapy myself there
will be none of that painful stretching of her muscles. Massage will relax
her legs before any exercise is attempted.”
So began the trips back and forth to the
center. I kept Rhonda with me at all times and never left her to the care
of the therapists. My excuse was that I wanted to learn to do her therapy
myself. During visits it was only natural that acquaintances were made
with other mothers who were there with their children.
Saturday mornings were the days I spent
grocery shopping. Coming down one of the isles of the store was a woman I
had not been seeing at the center recently. She called my name and
obviously wanted to talk with me, so I stopped to visit with her.
“Karen! Haven't seen you at the center?
How are you? How's your boy?” I questioned her.
“Oh I'm fine,” she told me, but I could
tell she wasn't. There was a wistful sadness about her even though she was
smiling. “You know I got a divorce?”
“No, for heaven's sake, no. I did not
know.” I was surprised as well as distressed. “How is your son taking
it?” “Well, that
is the hard part, you know. I had to leave him at the center full time.
There was nothing more I could do since I now have to work. Couldn't take
care of him by myself. My husband no longer was able to stand the stress
involved with everything. We were fighting all the time and he just
decided he didn't want to be married to us.”
That evening I told Rodney about the
coincidental meeting with the woman at it was then I had time to reflect
on what had happened to their little family. This was when I determined to
stay close to my faith while studying the disciplines necessary to make
our marriage work, regardless of what happened. That was almost fifty
years ago. We can't brag all was smooth sailing. What a lie that would be.
Rod's steadiness in dealing with my grief was what held us together. He
never wavered, not even when I was in the depths of despair and depression
over some one or other failed therapy.
If I begged to go to a lakeside where the
cool earth rested my body, or engaged in my artwork until it was
obsessive, and again, wanted to take Rhonda and myself away to home and
escape for a couple weeks, that was okay, too. Whatever I wished to do in
order to cope with the realities of what was becoming more and more
apparent and certain, didn't matter to Rod. Anything I wished to do, he
was agreeable, and allowed me total freedom.
I had no idea how he stood steadfastly
against his family and their wishes to see we were not saddled with the
duties involved in caring for a disabled child.
Who wouldn't
appreciate gentleness? Not once did I do anything to cause him to
believe I was not completely loyal to him and our family, imperfect as it
was. Disloyalty on my part was something that simply could not happen. |
