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William and Louisa Anderson
Part I - Early Days in Scotland, 1812-1839 - Chapter 7


1834-1838

Residence in Dalkeith—Death of Friends—First Speech—Engagement to go to Jamaica under the Scottish Missionary Society

I FOUND my time for reading, study, and writing very much curtailed in my new sphere. My Journal for a considerable period between the years indicated at the top of the page consists chiefly of private meditations and prayers, notes of sermons, and reflections written on 15th April (my birthday), and Communion Sabbath mornings.

"June 4.—May jot down that I visited Broomhill on the evening of the 15th ult. At the request of Mrs. B., I conducted family worship. It was the first time I had ever conducted social service of any kind, and I felt much perturbed all the while.

"Was at Ford Church last Sabbath, and mean to attend regularly there on Sabbaths. Old associations, my aunt's house, my Sabbath-school class, as well as Mr. Elliot's desire, all draw me to Ford.

"I write at present in great haste. No time here for reading, writing, or thinking.

'What time my heart is overwhelmed, and in perplexity,
Do Thou me lead unto the Rock that higher is thanI.'

"July 9. — Purchased lately H. K. White's Remains, and Job Orton's Life and Writings of Dr. Doddridge.

"Acting on the advice of Mr. Robert Hamilton, I have been doing a little these few days back in revising my Latin.

"Friday Aug. 1.—A new era now commences in the history of the British Empire. This is the birthday of Liberty in all the British West India Islands. Eight hundred thousand human beings—our fellow-subjects— are this day emancipated from the most cruel and degrading bondage. Oh, how their bosoms will be heaving with joy at this moment ! And where is the man in our own happy land whose heart glows not with a sympathetic response to the feelings of those who shall this day be able to say for the first time, 'W are free'?"

While at Dalkeith J became acquainted with three very dear friends—Mr. Robert Hamilton, teacher; Mr. James Porteous, teacher; and Mr. A. Millar. Mr. James Tod and I were very particular friends, and are so still after the lapse of twenty-one years, during which period we have maintained a constant correspondence.

It is but right that I should here record the name of Mr. David Watson. Many a long conversation passed between him and me about our becoming students. I cherish a grateful remembrance of his offering me (in, I think, 1836) all the money he had, some £50 or £60, if I would only attend college the ensuing winter. He generously pledged himself never to ask repayment, though he might perhaps accept of the amount should I at any time be able conveniently to refund it, and should he be in need of it. Had any rich Christian made me such an offer I might probably have accepted it, but I could not for one moment entertain the idea of depriving a mere youth of his little stock.

I may here note a few particulars under the years to which they respectively belong.

"1835.—Sabbath, Feb. 8.—The Missionary Prayer Meeting was held in the evening. Precentcd for the first time before grown-up people."

I had so far overcome my bashfulness as to be precentor at Ford on Sabbath, April 26th. I occasionally conducted the psalmody afterwards; but my musical talents were not of a very high order, and besides, I always felt a choking sensation when called to sing in public.

"Sabbath morning, May 24.—Have now resided in Dalkeith for nearly a year. On taking a retrospect of the past year, I see much occasion for deep humility before God on account of my innumerable sins and shortcomings, and also much cause of gratitude to Him who has led me and fed me upwards of twenty-three years. He has made ample provision for my temporal wants, and He has also bestowed on me many spiritual blessings. During the period more immediately under review, I have not been detained a single Sabbath from the public services of the sanctuary. But, alas! how ungrateful have I been to the best of friends and kindest of benefactors ! I have called the Sabbath a delight, but how seldom indeed have I kept it altogether holy to the Lord ! Lord, enable me to sanctify Thy Sabbaths in all time coming!

"Sabbath, May 31.—Confined to a sickbed all day. My first Sabbath's sickness since I had measles about eleven years ago. Under bilious fever.

"Sabbath, June 7.—Mr. Robert Hamilton spent the night with me at my lodgings, and we walked up to loved Ford this morning in company. Have been pretty well since Thursday. We often thank God for the comforts of life, but I think that we ought to be equally thankful for its afflictions, inasmuch as they show us that nothing can satisfy the soul but God, that nothing can yield so much peace and comfort as the hope and anticipation of heaven, and that nothing can pacify conscience but the peace-speaking blood of Jesus.

"Sabbath, Sept. 20.—Finished last night the reading of the Life of Sir Walter Raleigh. Have been much affected by the account given of the sufferings of that excellent man—more so, I am afraid, than I have ever been by the simple narratives given by the four evangelists of the sufferings endured in Gethsemane and on Calvary by the Son of God. I fear that I have been more affected by Esau's tears of unavailing regret, and by the fate of Jephthah's daughter, than by the sufferings of the Lamb of God! O hard heart! I detest such men as Cecil and Stokely, and the successor of Queen Elizabeth, on account of their cruel and unjust treatment of Raleigh. I condemn Judas and Pilate and the Jews for compassing the death of Jesus—and often forget that I was one of His murderers. O Messed Redeemer! soften this heart of stone. Cause it to melt on contemplating what Thou hast suffered on my account.

"Sabbath, Nov. 1.—At Broughton Place Church, Edinburgh, in the morning. Saw the Lord's Supper dispensed by Dr. Brown on the new plan of all the congregation communicating at once. The system is certainly a good one. What order and solemnity throughout the service!

"Friday, Nov. 27.—Visited, along with Mr. R Hamilton, the Surgical Hall Museum, Edinburgh. I had never seen a skeleton before. Saw many strange and interesting sights—many of them well fitted to lead the mind to serious and humiliating reflections.

"1836.—Friday, Jan. 15.—My uncle, Wm. Lang, came over from Fife to Ford in a very poor state of health. [He, his wife, and their children, had left Ford on Feb. 11th, 1835, for Sinclairtown, Fife.]

"Sabbath, Jan. 31.-—Uncle told me to-day that he did not think that he would recover; but, said he, 'for life or for death I place full reliance upon Christ.'

"Tuesday, Feb. 23.—Uncle died at 3 P.M. to-day. When I saw him on Sabbath last he seemed very feeble, but I had no idea that death was so near. My sister and her husband came to see him on that day. When my sister got her first glance at him she burst into tears. He kindly said, 'O my lassie, dinna greet.' He regretted much that she had not brought her little daughter, as he was anxious to see her—probably for my mother's sake. He spoke to us with calmness of his approaching dissolution, declaring that he placed all his dependence for salvation on the atonement of Christ. He told me that all the money he possessed was thirty shillings—'which will, I hope, be sufficient to bury me.' When I had finished the exercises of the Sabbath school at Chesterhill, I returned to and remained with him till he went to bed. I read to him a portion of Dr. Watt's discourse on the text, 'Neither shall there be any more pain,' Rev. xxi. 4, with which he appeared much gratified.

"Thursday, 25.—My widowed aunt and her fatherless children arrived from Fife this morning. I hired a cart for their conveyance to Ford. Walked up to Ford after the labours of the day.

"Saturday, 27.—We took the mortal remains to Crichton Churchyard, where they were interred in the grave of his son, George Lang, who died Jan. 22, 1828, aged nineteen. There, their rest together is in the dust.

"Sabbath, 28.—Communion—but how distracted were my thoughts!

"Wednesday, March 10.—Aunt Bell and my cousins left for Fife to day. We all felt much on parting.

"Sabbath, April 23.—Heard with great delight Rev. Mr. Watson from Jamaica this evening at Ford. I felt deeply interested in his account of Jamaica, slavery, freedom, etc. What an encouraging account he gave of the progress of the gospel in Jamaica! My heart burned within me, and I could not help saying, Lord, here am I, send me! "—Journal.

Had any person told me that evening that in less than four years I would be employed in the great work on the mountains of that island, I would have been both astonished and incredulous. But so it was. How wondrous are Thy ways, Lord God Almighty!

"Sabbath, May 15.—The Lord's Supper dispensed at Ford to-day; but the splendid Annular Eclipse distracted my mind a good deal, and I am afraid that of many others."

Though now a member of the Church, I was far from supposing that therefore all must be safe for eternity. I was during this year, as well as long afterwards, perplexed with many doubts and fears in regard to my state and character before God.

"Sabbath, June 12.—Began some time ago to re-read an old favourite—Booth's Reign of Grace. This morning read c. 5, which treats of Grace reigning in our Pardon.

"Sabbath July 17.—Our Session have agreed that the Communion be dispensed henceforth on the first Sabbath of August, instead of the third Sabbath of July. The new arrangement is no doubt right and wise, but to an 'observer of days' like myself it causes something like regret. Three years to-day since I first took my place at the Lord's table. In one thing I rejoice, namely, the assurance that Christ can manifest Himself as graciously to us on first Sabbaths of August as on third Sabbaths of July: He is the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever.

"Sabbath, 24.—Have finished Booth's Reign of Grace, and have been much benefited by the perusal.

"Monday, Aug. 1.—Resolved this morning to spend an hour each evening of this week in prayer and self-examination, in view of the Communion on Sabbath. Oh to be enabled to wash the heart from wickedness!

"Sabbath, 7.—Have been reading Hawes On the Sacrament every evening during the past week, and felt considerably benefited thereby.

"Sabbath, Oct. 16.—Received from Mr. Elliot last Sabbath evening, Narrative of Visit to American Churches, by Messrs. Reed and Matheson. I have found it to be a most fascinating volume. Splendid descriptions of splendid scenery, and most interesting accounts of revivals. Lord, revive Thy work in the midst of us.

"Sabbath, 30, p.m.—Astonished and delighted to-day when Mr. Elliot announced as his text, Rom. vii. 24, 25. the subject was most appropriate for me. It has been occupying my attention for some time. If I be a saint at all, I am surely less than the least of all saints. . . .

"Mr. Robert Hamilton very ill indeed. Read with him to-night, llcb. xii.; sang Par. xlix. 13, 14, and prayed with him.

"Tuesday, Nov. 22.—Changed lodgings to-day. . . . Have now a bedroom mate, John Robson, a gardener, who seems a very pious lad.

"Last Tuesday evening (15th inst.) a few of my companions in employ of John Gray & Son, and I, agreed to form ourselves into a fellowship meeting. Last night we met for the first time in Alex. Kerr's house. The theme of conversation was the first question of the Shorter Catechism. We agreed to take a Question of the Catechism, and a text or passage of Scripture, in alternate weeks, as the subject of conversation. ["The exercises," says Mr. Anderson in his MS. Autobiography, "which I prepared for our weekly meeting in Mr. A. Kerr's house, have sometimes served me as the groundwork of discourses."]

"Friday, Dec. 16.—Heard to-day of the death of my dear friend, Robert Hamilton. He departed this life, at Lauder, yesterday at 2 A.M. My mind has been wandering over our past days of sweet fellowship all afternoon. I became first acquainted with Mr. H. in April or May 1834, when he came to be teacher in Pathhead. I first saw him in the Sabbath school at Ford, and the favourable impressions I formed of him then were confirmed by further intercourse. I do not think we had any conversation with each other—both of us being somewhat shy—till the fourth Sabbath of June, when we walked home together from Fala Sacrament. Then our hearts were knit together, and that friendship formed which has not till now been interrupted. I trust that the interruption is only temporary. Our position as Sabbath-school teachers brought us into contact each Sabbath evening. He had, like myself, been early left an orphan, and this was a ground of mutual interest and sympathy. I have often been delighted with his short touching addresses to our scholars. His large dark, expressive eyes sparkling with intense earnestness, added much to the influence of his words. His sweet and earnest prayers will not soon be forgotten by those who heard them. . . .

"I saw him for the last time on Sabbath, 27th November. I called about 3 p.m., and told him that I had three hours to spend with him, and he expressed his gratification at the prospect of such a lengthened visit. Before I had sat with him many minutes, I was unexpectedly summoned to attend the Sabbath School at Pathhead, as no male teacher had appeared to conduct the devotional services. When I returned, his first words were: 'Why have you been so long in coming? I'll never see you again.' I had our prayer meeting to attend from six to seven. After that meeting I returned to his bedside, when we held our last earthly intercourse.

"On the following Saturday (3rd inst.) he was taken in a post-chaise to Lauder, to the house of a relative there. His excellent and amiable assistant and successor, Mr. James Porteous, accompanied him on the journey. He grew feebler and feebler till yesterday A.M., when his spirit took its wing to that happy world where no inhabitant shall ever say, 'I am sick.'

"Sabbath, 18.—The remains of my beloved friend were interred yesterday in Channelkirk Churchyard. I could not attend the funeral. Farewell, beloved brother, for a little. We meet again!"

1837.—Matters moved on this year as they had done previously. I forgot not on the 15th of April that I had been allowed to sojourn among men for a quarter of a century.

On the fourth Sabbath of June I started early from Dalkeith, and spent an hour beside Mr. Hamilton's grave in Channelkirk Churchyard.

"Came through the heather to Fala, and heard a good deal of the Communion services. Mr. Cooper preached (in the tent, from 2 Cor. ix. 15: 'Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift.' Mr. Elliot preached the evening sermon also in the tent/ from Eph. iii. 15: 'The one family.' Delighted when he closed the services of the day by singing the three last verses of the 53rd Paraphrase.

"Tuesday, June 28.—The first congregational soiree at Ford took place this evening. It has been a delightful festival. Mr. Elliot was in the chair, and made a capital introductory speech. Mr. Cooper was humorous and effective. 1 was deeply interested in Mr. Sandy's speech.2 The other speakers were Messrs. Harper, Robson, and Deans. . . . The soiree, which was attended by about three hundred, went well off. All the guests, as well as the speakers, seemed delighted.

"Sabbath, August 20.—Walked up to Ford last night after shop-shutting 'ten o'clock;. A most delightful walk. The full-orbed harvest moon shone softly and sweetly on the whitening fields. Had an interesting conversation this evening with James Porteous and William Wood concerning the last hours of our friend, Robert Hamilton. I have always been under the impression that he died under a cloud, but it seems that he breathed his last—to all human appearance—a victim of despair. He lived a Christian life, and there can be no doubt his mind was affected by his disease. But certainly the want of a simple, childlike faith in Christ—and he must have been somewhat deficient in this—makes even a Christian's death terrible. O to be making daily preparation for death ! When the solemn hour comes to me, if I cannot die triumphing, may I at least die trusting!

"Monday, Sept. 11.—Had several hours of delightful fellowship with my beloved friend, Alexander Millar, Huntly. He spent last night with me. His converse I have found to be both pleasant and profitable.

"Tuesday, October 3.—The various Fellowship Meetings in Dalkeith held a joint soiree this evening in the Masons' Lodge. Mr. George Wilson was in the chair. Upwards of one hundred and seventy were present. A most delightful and interesting meeting. I delivered what I may call my first public address. My theme was ' The Unity of Christians.'

"Tuesday, 17.—How different now is Dalkeith Fair in anticipation, in enjoyment, and in retrospect, from what it was fourteen or fifteen years ago ! Purchased this evening, for my 'fair,' Marshall On Sanctification—a book strongly recommended to me by a late master, Mr. John Macdonald. Fearful toothache for days past. How numerous and painful the lessons required to make us humble and holy!

"Friday, Dec. 1.—Was at the marriage of my dear friend, Mr. James Porteous, teacher, Pathhead. Mr. Par-lane was the officiating minister. The bride is Ellen Blair, Tranent.

"Sabbath, 31.—Another year going. 'Oh, to grace how great a debtor!' What reason for thankfulness for all the multiplied mercies of the year! . . . Grant grace to enable me to live more devoted to Thy service in the future than I have been doing in the past.

"1838.—Sabbath, Feb. 4.— Acted this morning for the first time as a tract distributor. Langland, with Chesterhill (east side is my district). May the silent preacher be blessed!

"Sabbath, March 28.—Went round by Newbattle this morning. Had my little niece on one knee and my littler nephew on the other. How delighted our father would have been to see them! Lord, bless the little lambs; gather them in Thine arms, carry them in Thy bosom!

"Sabbath, April 15, evening, at Ford.— . . . How are all things changed within the past few years! That same beech tree, which at this moment groans to the passing blast, cast its shadow over me in infancy, and then in boyhood—but it seems changed. Can the change be in it or in myself? O to be but a little child again! And yet— I would not wish to be younger—but I wish I had been better. What have i done for the glory of God during these bygone years? What for the good of my fellow-men? What a cumberer of the ground! . . .

"Tuesday, April 17.—Was this morning through the principal apartments of Dalkeith Palace. Was much gratified on seeing (for the first time in my life) such a collection of pictures and statues. The dead of former days seem to gaze curiously on the living who intrude into their drear}' halls. Verily, we have yonder a cloud of witnesses to the fact that one generation goeth and another cometh. Such a scene is enough to make one poetical! . . .

"Friday 20.—Received from Edinburgh to-day a copy of Todd's Sunday School Teacher. Am quite delighted therewith, and hope to find it exceedingly useful."

One of the principal things impressed on my memory during this year was the illness and death of a dear friend's wife, Mrs. George Blair. She fell asleep in Jesus on the 12th of May, at Tranent. I saw her on the evening of the 26th of April, reaching Tranent about midnight. . . . When I entered she was sitting speechless in bed. Ah! how changed! Her husband asked her if she had anything to say to me. Her answer (to me inaudible) was, "Tell him that Christ is a precious Saviour—altogether lovely." I sat by her bedside, with little intermission, till about four o'clock. . . . Her last words to me were, "I shall not see you again till we meet before the throne on high. Live to Christ—live to Christ—and He will support you on a dying bed, as He is doing me just now." Precious sentence! I shall never forget it. Oh, words like hers have an eloquence, an energy, a pathos, compared with which all other oratory is dumb. How painful must it be for her husband to contemplate the long separation from one so young, so lovely, so good! Lord, support him. She goes to be with Thyself, which is far better; but he will be left desolate.

"Sabbath, 29.—Yielding to a strong impulse, went to Ford this morning via Tranent. Mrs. B. still lingers by the side of Jordan. When I left her, I asked her if she was still perfectly happy. Her reply was, 'Yes, yes!' Called on Mr. Elliot this evening, and told him how matters stood with our dying friend.

"Saturday, May 12.—'All is well' with Christian Blair now—oh, how well! She fell asleep this morning about four o'clock. She has made a happy change. The pale cheek and the languid eye, and the faltering tongue and the parched lip, and the wasted lungs and the cold sweat of the last agony, have all been exchanged for the welcoming angels and the smiling Saviour — for the crown, the robe, the harp, the palm, the throne! . . .

"Dalkeith, between 2 and 3 p.m., Tuesday, May 15.— In spirit I am this moment at Tranent. Much I could have wished to be there just now to have paid the last tribute of respect to departed worth. All is over. The turf has received its last adjustment, the rattling of spades and shovels has ceased, all stand for a moment uncovered, and then each seeks his way home. The grace that supported the dying will prove sufficient for the living, and doubtless my bereaved friend will be a partaker of those blessed consolations which can support and cheer under the heaviest afflictions and bereavements.

"Wednesday, June 13.—Was at Fala in the evening, as one of a deputation from the Dalkeith Total Abstinence Society. Was glad to see so many of my old friends present. We had not a numerous but a respectable and attentive audience. At the close of the meeting thirteen subscribed the abstinence pledge.

"Sabbath, 24.—At Fala at the Communion. Visited the grave of Robert Hamilton in the morning.

"Thursday, 28.—The Coronation of our Queen Victoria! A day of rejoicing throughout the kingdom. Was at a very pleasant social meeting1 in the Dalkeith Coffee Room in the evening. A beautiful display of fireworks from the steeple.

"Sabbath, July 15.—Assisted this evening in conducting a prayer meeting at a village called Claybarns. I addressed from Rev. xiv. 1-3, 13.

"Saturday, Aug: 4.—Walked up to Ford after ten o'clock to-night. Stepped into the tent at midnight's calm hour. The moon was nearing the western horizon, and her beams could scarcely struggle through the thick foliage that overshadowed the much-loved hollow where the tent stands.

"Sabbath, a.m., Aug. 5.—Early at the tent all alone— yet not alone. A morning more lovely and glorious than this has surely never dawned upon our world since the sun of earth's first Sabbath rose! How many hallowed recollections linger around this sacred spot! The dewdrops sparkle on every leaf and on every blade of grass. 'Sweet morn, so cool, so calm, so bright!' Five hours hence and another scene will be presented here. The greensward will be full of life, and a solemn assembly of worshippers will be seated all around. Lord, rend the heavens and descend to-day with such an abundance of blessing as will satisfy every longing soul which may this day come to this place thirsting for Thee as the hart panteth for the water-brooks. O for a foretaste of the blessedness to be enjoyed when we shall sit down at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb!

"Sabbath, 12.—Heard 'the great, the gifted, and the good ' George Thompson, the Anti-Slavery orator, preach a very excellent sermon from 1 Cor. xiii. 13, this evening, in Rev. Jos. Brown's church, Dalkeith.

"Wednesday, Oct. 3.—The second annual soiree of the Dalkeith Fellowship Meeting was held to-night in the Masons' Lodge. The subject of my address was 'The Christian's Triumph over Death.' I gave a few sentences concerning the deathbed experiences of one who was peculiarly happy and active among us on this night twelvemonths, namely, Mrs. George Blair. My friends Mr. Blair and Mr. T. Darling had addresses of peculiar excellence—the former on 'The Pleasures of Religion,' and the latter on 'Missions.' Our chairman this year, as last year, was our good friend, Mr. George Wilson. . . .

"Sabbath, Nov. 4.—Lord's Supper at Ford to-day. Mr. Elliot preached from 1 John iii. 1. He was assisted by Mr. Johnston of Limekilns. Very languid all day— having been deprived of rest for several nights by toothache. To ease the pain, I walked and ran at 2 A.M. between the two tollbars of Gallowshall and Cowbridge.

"Wednesday, 7.—Mr. James Tod being about to leave the establishment of John Gray & Son for a situation in Edinburgh, our Fellowship Meeting gave him a soiree this evening in my lodgings. I had the honour of being chairman, and addressed our dear friend in the name of the meeting. I shall miss him greatly.

"Tuesday, 27.—Have had a poor time of it for several weeks. Have suffered intensely from toothache; little sleep during the night; heavy work during the day. I feel quite feeble in body and depressed in mind. Had a tooth extracted to-day. The operation was very painful. The 39th Psalm has been my appropriate song in the night for weeks—I may say for months past. Sometimes, when running about in torture at 1 and 2 A.M., I have tried to soothe myself by saying or singing—

'When languor and disease invade
This trembling house of clay,' etc."

During the course of this year, George Gray, Esq., and Mr. John Chisholm interested themselves a good deal in my favour; and, after ascertaining my views on the subject of going abroad as a catechist or teacher, the former I am not sure whether he was joined by Mr. C. in this recommended me to the Committee of the London Missionary Society as a suitable person to go abroad under their auspices. Their reply was that they were not then sending catachists into the mission field. Mr. Gray's letter, however, and a copy of an address on Total Abstinence which I had written some time before (and which had been printed by the Dalkeith Total Abstinence Society , were, in the arrangements of Providence, brought under the notice of the Rev. Dr. William Brown, who forthwith wrote to Mr. Gray, requesting him to call my attention to an advertisement issued by the Scottish Missionary Society for teachers and catechists. [Autobiography, U.P. Magazine, 1890, p. 499.]

"Friday, 30.—My kind friends, Messrs. John Chisholm and George Gray, have been interesting themselves lately on my behalf, and through their kindly interposition the Rev. Dr. Wm. Brown, Secretary to the Scottish Missionary Society, has been desirous of seeing me with the view of my going out to Jamaica as teacher and catechist. The prospect delights me. I had an interview with the Rev. Dr. Brown, Queen Street, Edinburgh, this afternoon on the subject, and formally offered myself to go to Jamaica in connection with the Scottish Missionary Society.

"Mr. G. Blair, Mr. Wm. Steven, and I, delivered addresses on Tectotalism this evening in one of the Congregational chapels, Musselburgh.

"Tuesday, Dec. 4.— Delivered my address on 'The Unity of Christians' at a Fellowship Meeting soiree at Gilmerton this evening."

The following letter from the Rev. A. Elliot may be quoted in connection with Wm. Anderson's offer of his services to the Scottish Missionary Society:—

Ford, 6ih Dec. 1838.

Dear William, —When I came home on Sabbath night, your letter communicated to me news, but not news that surprised me—at least, the surprise was not of long continuance. I think you have done right; and for a considerable time back I have been of opinion that you are fitted for something else than your present situation, and wishing that God in His providence would open up some way in which you might devote yourself more fully and directly to His service. I have no doubt that before you took the step which you have done, you have often and earnestly sought direction at a throne of grace ; and having done so, and having willingly offered yourself, your duty now is to wait calmly, and endeavour to learn and abide by the will of our Master. I had a letter from Dr. Brown yesternight, and have just written an answer to it. The Committee, it appears, will meet to-morrow. My greatest fear is that your extreme— I had almost said sinful—bashfulness will make you appear to very great disadvantage before them, and militate against your acceptance. Try and guard against it. Look up for support and courage, and let not the fear of man prove a snare. Though I shall be very sorry to part with you and be deprived of your co-operation here, I am very anxious that you may succeed, persuaded that our Divine Master has qualified you for greater usefulness than your present sphere admits of. You will let me know on Sabbath how you come on, and in the meantime you have my sincere wishes and earnest prayers that you may find favour with the Committee.—I am yours very sincerely, ANDREW ELLIOT.

"Friday, 7.—Was examined this afternoon by a Committee of the Scottish Missionary Society, said Committee consisting of Rev. Dr. Brown, Rev. Dr. Dickson, and Rev. Mr. Mackenzie. The examination was very simple. All the members of Committee spoke very kindly and encouragingly. I went to Edinburgh with fear and trembling, but a gracious God gave me much favour in the sight of His servants. This Committee must, of course, report to the full Board of Directors. If it shall please the Head of the Church to signify to me through the Directors of the Scottish Missionary Society that He accepts of my services, I shall be grateful, and feel it to be my duty to devote myself wholly and unreservedly to His service.

"Sabbath, 9.—Aunt Potts not at all pleased at my offer of myself for mission service. I trust she will concur, however, should my offer be accepted. Mr. Elliot preached a most suitable sermon for her and me to-day from 2 Cor. v. 7: 'We walk by faith, and not by sight.' Some of my friends seem to think I should remain at home ; but the most of them approve of the step which I have taken. Very few as yet, however, know about the matter.

"Thursday, 13.—Gratified to-day by receiving a letter from Rev. Dr. Wm. Brown intimating acceptance by the Scottish Missionary Society for service in Jamaica. So now it seems that the desires, the prayers, the aspirations of years are to be at length realised. Strange—passing strange! that a poor, weak, ignorant, sinful worm such as I should be honoured with a call to go far hence to tell the Gentiles of a Saviour's love. O for grace to enable me to be faithful in the discharge of the important duties to which I am called—faithful to the Directors of the Scottish Missionary Society—faithful to those who shall wait on my instructions—faithful to my own soul, seeing that a man may even preach to others and be himself a castaway!

"I must never forget the kindly interest shown me in this matter by Messrs. Chisholm and Gray. The Lord grant that the Lord may have mercy on them on that day!"


 


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