late Robert, or, as he was more commonly
styled, Bob Dreghorn or Dragon, a well-known character in Glasgow,
though of a very parsimonious nature, was yet particularly curious in
his wines; and while slovenly to excess
in the economy of his table, always paid a special attention to his wine
On one occasion he had a large
party at dinner, and as the evening advanced, both he and the majority
of the guests got "pretty weel on," to use a common but expressive
The supply of wine
having become exhausted, the forlorn appearance of the decanters
was pointed out to the landlord, accompanied with a
hint for their replenishment.
Bob made one or two attempts to
rise, but in vain; as the old adage says,—
"His head was too heavy, his heels
and it was with difficulty that he
could even make his friends understand that, as he was unable to move,
they must content themselves with the libations they had already made.
One of the party, the late Mr.
M'K—— of Garnkirk, who, from being a servant of Bob’s had now risen to
be his guest, insinuated that there was no necessity for his quitting
his chair, as he knew the road to the cellar, and would with pleasure
perform the oflice of butler, if intrusted with the keys.
"No!" said Bob, glaring at him
like a miser whose hoard someone had proposed to invade; "no! no! I’ll
not trust you, sir—you ken the road to the cellar o’er weel, I’m
thinking. I trust naebody wi’ the key; but I’ll tell ye what, if you are
sober enough to carry me down the stair, I’ll bring up what wine’s
With this extraordinary proposal
Mr. M’K—— complied, took the bacchi plenus landlord on his
shoulders, and after a short interval reappeared, his burden increased
by the addition of sundry magnums of claret., which the redoubted Bob
grasped like grim death.
The pair would have furnished a
fine model for a painter who wished to depict the pious AEneas bearing
his father— with this exception, that the household gods carried by the
Glasgow senior were of a more spiritual nature than those of his