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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Hawkie's model gardener


HAWKIE could sketch almost any trade or profession when he was in the humour to do so. Here is one he often gave on the qualities of a rural gardener :— "There is no man that has more business upon earth than my friend, the gardener. He, the said gardener, always chooses good ground for what he does. He commands his thyme, he is master of his mint, and fingers penny royal. He raises his celery every year, and it is a bad year indeed that he does not produce a plum. He meets with more boughs (bows) than a minister of State; he possesses more beds than the French King, and has in them more painted ladies, and more genuine roses and lilies than are to be found at any of our country weddings.

"He makes raking his business more than his diversion, as many gentlemen in this city do; but he makes it an advantage to his health and prosperity, which few others do. He can boast of more rapes than any other rake in the kingdom. His wife, notwithstanding, has enough of lad’s love and heart’s ease, and never wishes for weeds (blessed woman !). Distempers fatal on others never hurt him. He walks the better for the gravel, and thrives more even in consumption. He can boast of more bleeding hearts than any lady, and more laurels (if possible) than the most renowned hero. But his greatest pride and the world’s envy is, he can have yew or want yew just as he pleases,"


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