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The Anecdotage of Glasgow
Paddy's advice and Hawkie's retort


ON one occasion, a native of the Emerald Isle, observing Hawkie draining off a glass of aqua, said to him:

"Don’t take any more of that vile stuff, Hawkie, it will kill ye, man; every glass of it is just another nail to your Norway jacket, and the carpenter will be takin’ yer length very soon, at any rate." To which Hawkie retorted:

"Hech, man, Paddy, your coffin would be as thick set wi’ thae nails, if ye had the bawbee’s to pay for them, as the scales on a herrin’. Gae hame wi’ you; our hangman can scarcely get time to tak’ his denner for you bairns o’ the Bog. Confound you, we canna get the use o’ oor ain gallows for you nooadays."


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