Anecdotage of Glasgow
A soft-hearted Glasgow Bailie
man made his appearance at the bar of the Gorbals police court, Glasgow,
charged with being drunk and disorderly on the streets, when, after a
patient hearing, the presiding bailie, who seems to have possessed little
of that firmness and dignity required for the magisterial office, ordered
him to pay a fine of fifteen shillings, upon which the following dramatic
vociferated the man, with more points of admiration in his tone than we
can spare room for "fifteen shillings! Bailie, yere surely no in
earnest. Bless ye, when will I win fifteen shillings to gie ye?"
Well," said the bailie, yielding,
"Ill make it half-a-guinea, and not a farthing less
"Half-a-guinea, bailie! If ye fine
me in half-a-guinea, whats to come o my puir wife and weans for a month
to come ! We must just starve, theres nae ither way for it," said the
offender in a most lugubrious tone; "we must starve or beg."
"Well," said the relenting bailie,
"Ill make it seven and sixpence, and not a farthing less!"
"Seven and sixpence!" says the still
unsatisfied offender; "thats just the half o my weeks wages, an theres
no a grain o meal in the house, nor a bit o coal to make it ready wi,
even though there were. Oh! bailie, think what a sum seven and sixpence is
to a working man!"
"Well, well," said the good-natured
magistrate, "Ill make it five shillings, and not a farthing less; though
ye were the king on the throne Ill not make it less!"
"Weel, weel, bailie, Mary and me and
the weans maun just submit," said the knavish culprit, affecting to weep;
at the same time saying, as if to himself, yet so loud as the bailie could
hear him" Blessed is he that wisely doth the poor mans case consider."
The bailie could not stand the
silent appeal of tears, nor the apt quotation he had made.
Well, well," again says the bailie,
"Ill make it half-a-crown, and, though ye were my ain brither, I couldna
make it less!"
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