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Some Old Scottish Street Poetry
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These are some poems that we've been reminiscing about on our Electric Scotland webboard.

From Bruce Logan

My grandfather use to take his fingers in the palm of your hand and run them up to your arm pit while saying:

(I can't speak Scots never mind spell it)

Roon about
roon about
goes the wee mouse,
uppity,
uppity
in the wee house.

Thomas Snee said..

In response to Bruce Logan's contribution; my Grandfather, born in Aberdeenshire in 1880, had this version:
 
Roond and roond the merket danced the kittley bear.
(he would be walking his fingers around the palm of the child's hand)
 
One step, a two step,
(At this point he would be walking with his fingers up the arm of the hand where he had been going around with the first line of the verse)
 
A kittley under there.
(There was the arm pit, or in middle English and "Braid Scots" the oxter) 
 
Another "game" he would play was as follows:
 
Chap at the doorie.
(Knocking on the child's forehead)
 
Keek in;
(Lift the childs eye lids)
 
Lift the latch,
(Pull the childs nose up with the side of his finger)
 
Wipe your feet,
(wipe under the child's nose with the side of your pointer finger)
 
And walk in
( Poke your fingers gently in the child's mouth as if walking in)
 
Another one that sent us into paroxysms of delight was the following:
 
There was an old man who peed in the sea.
The sea was too wide, so he peed in the tide,
And all the wee fishies crawled up his backside.
 
Another:
 
Captain Cook was making soup,
His wife was making jelly.
Captain Cook fell in the soup
 And burned his rubber belly

From Elda Quinton & Sharon McNeill

Three craws sat upon a wa',
Sat upon a wa'
Sat upon a wa'
On a cold and frosty morning

The first craw, he couldnae flee at a'
couldn'ae flee at a'
couldn'ae flee at a'
on a cold and frosty morning

The second wee craw, he fell and broke his jaw
fell and broke his jaw
fell and broke his jaw
on a cold and frosty morning

The third craw wis greetin fur his maw
greetin fur his maw
greetin fur his maw
on a cold and frosty morning

Jen said we were missing a verse and sent it in...

The fourth craw wisnae there at a
wisnae there at a, wisnae there at a
The fourth craw wisnae there at a
On a cold and frosty morning

Gary Robinson said we were missing a verse of the above and sent it in...

Thats aw a ken aboot the craws
Ken aboot the craws
Ken aboot the craws
Thats aw a ken aboot the craws
On a cauld and frosty mornin.

Elda also offered

Wee chooky birdie, trow low low
Laid an egg oan the windie sow
The windie sow began tae crack
Wee chooky birdie, quack quack quack

Fiona Hawke came up with this one from her father, Stuart Wotherspoon

You canna shove your granny off a bus,
You canna shove your granny off a bus
You canna shove your granny,
Because she's your mammies mammy,
You canna shove your granny off a bus.

Michael McLaren found another verse for this one...

You canna shove your granny off a bus,
You canna shove your granny off a bus
You canna shove your granny,

Cause she makes your mince n tatties,
Oh, you cannae shove your granny off the bus.

and Charlotte Bleh provided the second verse

Oh, ye can shove your OTHER Granny aff a bus,
Ye can shove your OTHER Granny aff a bus.
Ye can shove your other Granny,
Cause she's yer DADDY'S mammy,
Ye can shove yer other Granny aff a bus.

Carolyn Carnduff contributed...

Oh you cannae thro' a sanny oot a 20 story flat,
700 hungry wanes 'll testify tae that,
if its butter cheese or jeely,
if the breed is plain or pan,
the odds ag'in it reachin earth
are ninety nine tae wan.

Ranald McIntyre contributed..

Yin twa three
A mother catched a flea
we roasted it
and toasted it
and had it fur wur tea

Thomas Snee added another verse to the above...

Oh dear me mah granny caught a flea,
She satted it an peppered it and had it for her tea.
She didn't like it she gave it to her son.
He didn't like it; he threw it up the lum.
The lum gave a crack,
The hoose gave a shak,
And doon came granny we her shirt ah black.

Then Scott Gelatly remembered..

Oh Clellys got a bunion,
a face like a pickled onion,
a nose like a squashed tomato,
and feet like a hen.

Then Fiona Hawks father got back on the phone with these ones...

To the tune of "The British Grenadiers"-

Oh the bonnie wee barra is mine,
It dis'na belong to O'Hara,
The fly wee bloke,
He stuck to my rock
So I'm going to stick to his barra.

and

Paddy on the Railway,
Breaking up the stanes
Along came the engine
And brak poor Paddy's banes.

Oh! says Paddy,
That's no fair,
Oh! says the engine driver,
You should'na been there!

Frank Roselli not be outdone contributed...

Skinny Malinky Longlegs
Big Banana feet
went tae the pictures
and couldnae find a seat
when the picture started
Skinny Malinky farted
Skinny Malinky longlegs
Big Banana feet

Sharon McNeill came back with these sayings..

"any mair o yur lip an ah'll take ma haun aff yur face"

"aw that wis puir dead brilliant so it wis"

"am no jokin, ah wis black affrontit so ah wis"

"oh in the name o the wee man"

Joan Green produced a few more one liners...

"Did yiz iver see onythin like it?"

"Whit a commoshum. It wiz wurse thin the murdir o' daft Jimmy."

"Yir no too big fir a guid hidin and a clip on the jaw fir yir cheek"

"Ah'll rattle yir lugs till yi hear bells clangin."

"Ye gie me a raer showin up, so ye dae."

"Ahve spent the hael day cookin it, so ye'll damn well eat it, an ye'll sit there till yiz dae."

Kate Currie Forbes contributed some more one liners...

"Get back fae the fire ..ye'll get tartan legs"
"Think it's ootside yer in?"
" She's hingin' fur sumphin .been snottury aw week"
"Yer gaun tae a home ..aye wi' yer lip trimmlin'"
"Get aff ma flerr .ah jist washed it"
"Ah gaun BEEEERRRSSSERK!" Stoap it right noo!"
"don't look it me wi' thon eyes"
"if ah hiv tae get up tae you"
"Ye'll poke sumbiddy's eye oot wi that"
"YEUPYIT?"
"Get tae yer bliddy bed noooooooooo"
"Jist you wait tae yer faithur gets hame"
"Well that's it fur noo"

Katie Mackay also remembered this collection...

I'm a little Brownie dressed in brown,
See my knickers hanging down,
I can dance and I can sing
And I can play on the violin.

and

I'm a Girl Guide dressed in blue
See all the actions I can do
Salute to the King and bow to the Queen
And turn your back to the man in green.

and

Monday nights the Band of Hope
Tuesday night we pull the rope
Wednesday night the minister comes in..
(a new person would take there turn)
And out goes....(whoever)

and

Ding dong my castle bell,
Farewell to my master,
Bury me in the old churchyard
Beside my dear old mother.
Six white angels by my side ,
Two to watch and two to pray
And two to carry my soul away.

Of course those rhymes were for skipping but the following were for counting out who was het at a game.

Oor wee Jeannie had oan a nice clean peenie,
guess what colour it was.
R-E-D spells red(or other colour chosen)
and red you must have on.

and

Eetle ottle black bottle,
Eetle ottle out,
If you want a piece and jam,
Just march right out.

and

Eeny meeny miny moe,
Sit the baby on the po,
When its done wipe its bum,
eeny meeny miny moe.

Margaret send in this version of the above...

Eeny Meeny miny mo
Pit the bairn on the po'
When it's done, wipe it's bum
An' throw the paper up the lum.

Katie Mackay comes up with another one and a few one liners :-)

Here is another daft one my mammie used tae sing tae us weans efter oor baths oan a Friday nicht.

Ah went in tae the bakers fer somethin tae eat,
Cause a felt awfu hungry fey ma heid tae ma feet,
An ah lifted a doughnut and started tae eat
And ah haunded the man a penny.
Oh he looked at the penny then he lookes at me,
And he sez bonny lassie ah kin plainly see,
There's a hole in this penny, aye a hole richt thru,
Och sez ah, but there's a hole in yer doughnut tae.

and here are the one liners...

Haw you, ur you howkin fur totties up there (if you were picking your nose) or "wave when ye git ower the brig" for the same reason.

Yer jist layin aroon like a big store dug.

This hoose is like a midden so it is.

Git yer hauns oot a there ye clarty wee beesom.

Git it et up afore a stoup it ben yer thrapple.

Dinnae git yer knickers in a twist.

She's jist a wee tattie boaggle.

Ye kin sit there tae the coos cum hame.

Ur you tryin tae take a lend ay me.

There's pan loaf folk sure bit yer jist plain breid.

Whits fur ye wull no go past ye.

Yons is as black as the earl ay hells weskit.

Its aw tapsle teery

Its aw squeehouke.

Awa an dinnae talk a load o rubbish.

Ah, l twist yer trams an buckle yer een if ye dinnae behave the noo.

Elda Quinton finally came up with the complete poem of...

The wee cock sparra sat oan a barra
The wee cock sparra sat oan a barra
The wee cock sparra sat oan a barra
Chirpin' awa' as blythe as could be

Alang came a boay wae a bow and an arra
Alang came a boay wae a bow and an arra
Alang came a boay wae a bow and an arra
And he said "Ah'll get you, ye wee cock sparra"

The boay wae the arra let fly at the sparra
The boay wae the arra let fly at the sparra
The boay wae the arra let fly at the sparra
And he hit a man that wis hurling a barra.

The man wae the barra came ower wae the arra
The man wae the barra came ower wae the arra
The man wae the barra came ower wae the arra
And said "ye tak me fur a wee cock sparra?"

The man hit the boay though he wisnae his farra
The man hit the boay though he wisnae his farra
The man hit the boay though he wisnae his farra
And the boay stood and glowered, he wis hurt tae the marra

And a' this time, the wee cock sparra
And a' this time, the wee cock sparra
And a' this time, the wee cock sparra
Wis chirping away oan the shaft o' the barra.


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