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Oliver Brown
Secretary of State for Scotland
The Secretary of State for Scotland on appointment takes an oath of loyalty to the Queen. He never takes an oath of loyalty to Scotland. That is one way of avoiding perjury.

The Emperor Caligula made his horse a Consul. One Russian Emperor made a flea Chancellor of Russia. Mr Wilson made Willie Ross Secretary of State for Scotland.

Tom Johnston was President of the Scottish Amicable Building Society which got into difficulties and was absorbed by the Co-operative (English) Building Society. He sold out his famous Forward to the English (having promised Roland Muirhead not to surrender it) and they killed it.

He was head of the North of Scotland Hydro-Electric Board whose further development has been vetoed by his Party’s Government.

I have often heard Scottish Nationalists speaking in praise of him without ever discovering any reason for the praise. He was the best Scottish Secretary Scotland ever had, I admit. But what does that signify?

The brain impulses of the dinosaur travelled such a long way to its body that it was obliged to develop a secondary brain in the bottom. In this island "the brain in the bottom" is called St. Andrew’s House.

The dinosaur disappeared despite its two brains into primaeval mud because it could not evolve quickly enough.

The Scottish Office or the Plastic Macs.

Mr Millan is working on Scottish affairs like a Trojan and Mr John Smith is working like a horse. Between the two of them they make a famous cornbination.

Oliver Brown at the Ross Bandstand in Edinburgh