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Shave Ma Heid

Wee Willie Carson went to Jim Marshall's the hairdresser in Harthill to get a haircut. 

On the day he was a wee bit strapped for cash. 

He asked "how much is a haircut Jim?”

Jim answered "Two Pounds ". 

Willie then asked "Well how much for a shave then?”

"Seventy Five pence" answered Jim.

Willie replied "OK JIST SHAVE MA HEID"

The Election

Three of the local lads,  Wee Rab Lamont, Dick Lamie and Jackie Dowds, were in Jessie McHugh’s pub at the Smiddy Corner in Harthill, and the discussions got around to the forthcoming Harthill By Election.

The major topic of the discussion was the future Tory candidate for Harthill.

"Rab could be the candidate ." says Dick Lambie to Jacki Dowds motioning to wee Rab Lamont.

Well Rab was fair taken aback but very chuffed when Dick said that.

"Dae ye think so?" says Rab.

"Aye" says Jackie Dowds.

"Oh Aye" Says Dick Lamie "I think ye'd make a rare candidate"

"You're the only wan in Harthill wae a suit".

Wallpaper

Big Andy Dowds got some new neighbours recently in Harthill

An Asian family moved in next door, Mr Lee and his family

Mr Lee and Andy became pals and were discussing house renovations

Mr Lee asked Andy "How many rolls of wallpaper - you buy for the lounge? "

Andy said "I bought eight rolls."

Later in the week after papering his lounge Mr Lee said "Andy I have three rolls left"

Andy said "So did I "


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