|A Scots boy came home from school and told his
mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful,"
says the mother, "what part is it?" The boy says, "I
play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and
says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."|
An old Scot, after living for many years in
a far-away land, was dying. He called his doctor and asked for one last
favor. The doctor agreed and the old Scot said he wanted to hear the
pipes played one more time before he died. A piper was duly summoned
and marched up and down the hospital hallway playing mightily. In
the morning, the old Scot was so invigorated he arose, dressed, and went
home. All of the other patients were dead.
The above are from a section of FORSYTH
NOTES published weekly by Clan Forsyth.
After discovering that they had won 15
million pounds in the Lottery, Mr. and Mrs. Forsyth sat down to discuss
their future. Mrs. Forsyth announced, "After twenty years of
washing other people's stairs, I can throw my old scrubbing brush away at
last." Her husband agreed-"Of course you can hen. We
can easily afford to buy you a new one now."
It is said that all Scots have a sense of
humour - because it is a free gift!
A young Scottish lad, Angus Mc Niven, and
his lassie, Bonnie McGregor, were sitting on a low stone wall, holding
hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat
silently, then finally she looked at him and said, "A penny for your
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. . .perhaps
it's aboot time for a wee kiss." Bonnie blushed, then leaned over and
kissed Angus lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed and the two turned once
again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin.......perhaps
its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle." She blushed again, then leaned
over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed and the two turned
once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh I was
thinkin...perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand oon your laig,
Bonnie." She blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then
he blushed and the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while Bonnie spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his
brow. "Wahl, nouh," he said, "my thoughts war a bit moor
ser'ous this time."
"Really?" she said in a whisper,
filled with anticipation. "Aye," said Angus. Bonnie looked away
in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the
ultimate request. "An' wha' wus tha'?"
"Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye
paid me the first three pennies?" Angus asked.
can see the Forsyth Notes here!