In the beginning, The Lord God Almighty,
sitting on His throne on high, turned to His mate, the Archangel Gabriel and said
"Gabby, today I'm going to create Scotland. I will make it a country of dark
beautiful mountains, purple glens and rich green forests. I will give it clear swift
flowing rivers and I will fill them with salmon. The land shall be lush and fertile, on
which the people shall grow barley to brew into an amber nectar that will be much sought
after the world over. Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal.
In the waters around the shores there will be an abundance of fish and beneath the sea bed
there will be vast deposits of oil and gas".
"Excuse me Sire", interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, "Don't you think you
are being a bit too generous to these Scots"?
"Not really", replied the Lord, "wait 'til you see the neighbours I'm
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