A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to
each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up
one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the
hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden.
He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran
up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.
The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normaly
solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the groin and time how long it
takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the groin and time how long it takes for me
to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman found his heaviest pair of boots and put
them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked as hard as he
could in the balls.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his testicles, howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." At,
this the Scotsman said, "Aye Lad, maybe you should just keep the wee egg."