If you see a Weegie on a bicycle, why
should you never swerve and hit him?
It could be your bike.
An Edinbugger woman commented that
whenever an Edinburgh citizen wears something expensive, it looks
however when a Weegie does it looks
What's the difference between Batman
and a Weegie?
Batman is able to go out without
What did the wee Weggie laddie get for
IN THE INTEREST OF BALANCE, [but not
A Weegie out for a walk down by the
river Clyde saw an Edinbugger on the opposite bank.
'Hello there' she shouts, 'how can I
get to the other side?'
Looking up and down the river the
Weegie shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side'
In the early wee
small hours at an hotel in Edinburgh during the festival the young
lady at reception was confronted by a well dressed but seriously
pissed Weegie guest who stumbled down from the second floor and
saying in front of her said " Haw hen, gonnae geez anurra
she replied, "we're a bit crowded as its the festival so I
don't know whether I could shift you immediately. It's pretty late
said the guest courteously but slightly loder, " I repeat -
gonnae geez anurra room?"
the matter isn't the room I gave you comfortable?" she
awright" admitted the Weegie guest, "Nev'less
the matter with your room?" she asked exasperated by now.
conspiritorially the Weegie bent forward clutching the reception
counter he said to her in a conspiritorial whisper, "Shh'oan
Pissed as newts two
drunks get thrown out of the pub into the Edinburgh Grass Market -
one Weegie one Edinbugger, and hanging on to each other they just make
it to gutter for a communal throw up when one of them spots an old
metal pot dropped by one of the many Antique dealers there abouts.
Curiosity got the
better of them so the Weegie gives it a good rub to see if it might be
worth a pound or two only to stagger back when a Genie pops out.
The Genie looks at them
in disgust and says, "all right you worthless drunken sods you can
have one wish each" Ever the gentleman the Weegie turns to the
Edinbugger and says " you can gang furst big man" after a
moment to think about it the Edinbugger's guddled brain lights up and
he says, "I want a great big stane wall 10 feet high built all the
way round Edinburgh to keep they we drunken keelies frae Glasgae oot
The Genie says
"done laddie and what do you want you wee Glasgae bouchle" For a
while there was silence and then the Weegies face lit up, " a want
yous tae fill it right tae the top."
Twa Weegies go into a pup
and bright and cheerie like demand doubles, the barman senses they're in
a good mood and asks them what there are celebrating, the first one says
"we just finished a 100 piece jig saw puzzle man" so the barman ask how
long it took to do, the second Weegie proud as punch says " six months!"
The barman replies that's
a hellova long time surely, but the first Weegie says "nae really, it
says 3 to 5 years on the box"
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