Teacher says to the class, we are going to talk about stories which have a moral today.

A wee lass at the front says to the teacher, "I went down to the hen house and there was 12 eggs, so I said to mummy, we'll get 12 chicks, but we only got six, the moral is Don't count your chickens before they hatch".

"That's a good one" said the teacher, any more?

Another  wee lass at the front said, "Yes, I also went down to the hen house, and I also saw 12 eggs.  I put them all in my basket and excitedly ran to the house, but I tripped and ten of them broke, only leaving me with two, the moral of the story is Don't put all your eggs in one basket".

"Excellent" said the teacher, anyone else?

Alastair at the back of the class says "Aye miss I hae one".

"OK, lets hear it then", said the teacher.

"Well miss it was during WW1, and my grandad was in the trenches in France, and all of his mates were deid.  He was being attacked by ten Germans, and all he had was a bottle of whisky and ten bullets."

"So what happened?"  Said the teacher.

"Well he took a swally o' the whisky, and shot the ten Germans dead".

"He was a very brave man your granddad" said the teacher, "But what's the moral to the story?"

Alastair promptly replied "Ye dinna mess wi mi grandfaither fa'n he's pissed!"