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Jim Campbell
Deep Fried Skate - "The Cooks Revenge”


STORNOWAY ON A WILD WINTERS NICHT WIS THE SETTIN’ FOR THIS NEXT TALE.

THE WITHER BEEIN’ SO BAD THAT THE WHOLE FLEET WERE IN FOR SHELTER AND WI NAE PROSPECTS O’ GITTEN OOT FOR A DAY OR TWA THE CREW O’ AE BOAT DECIDED TAE GO ASHORE FOR A REFRESHMENT OF THE ALCAHOLIC KIND. LEAVIN THE YOUNG COOKIE TAE CLEAR UP THE DISHES AND REMIND HIM THAT THEY WID BE BACK LATER ON AND TAE HAE SOME O’ THAT SKATE THAT WIS DOON THE HOLD READY FOR THEM FIN THEY CAM BACK ABOORD. THE COOKIE WIS FUMIN’ HE WIS NEEDIN ASHORE WI’ HIS PALS NAE STUCK ABOORD WAITIN’ ON THEM TAE COME BACK FIN IT SUITED THEIR NEEDS. ONY WYE HE CLEARED UP THE DISHES SYNE WENT DOON THE HOLD AND SKINNED THE SKATE A READY FOR LATER ON THAT NICHT.BY THIS TIME HIS CHUMS WERE A’ WAITIN’ ON HIM GITTEN READY MUTTERIN’ AND GAUN ON ABOOT HOO DAFT HE WIS PITTIN UP WI’ THAT KERRY ON. EVENTUALLY THEY GOT ASHORE AND HEADED FOR THE PICTURES AND THEN THE CAFE TAE EYE UP THE LOCAL TALENT. SUDDENLY HE REMEMBERED ABOOT THE CREW COMIN BACK DOON AND SAID TAE THE LADS ‘LL NEED TAE GIT BACK AND PIT ON THE SKATE.

BACK ABOORD THE BOAT HIS CHUMS WERE FEELIN’ SORRY FOR HIM HA’EN TAE DE THIS IVERY TIME THEY WERE IN WI’ BAD WEATHER SO THEY DECIDED THEY WID TEACH THE CREW A LESSON. MIXIN’ UP THE BATTER FOR THE SKATE ANE O’ THE LADS LOOKIT IN ALOE THE SINK AND FOUND SOME NYLON POT SCRUBBERS, JIST THE VERY DAB HE THOCHT TAE HIMSEL’ AND PROCEEDED TAE DIP THEM IN BATTER AND INTAE THE PAN O’ FAT. THEY HAD JIST FEENISHED FRYIN’ FIN THE CREW ARRIVED BACK ABOORD ALL THE WORSE O’ WEAR EFTER THEIR NICHT ASHORE, IS WIR SKATE READY COOK WERE A’ STERVIN’ AE LAD SHOUTED TAE THE POOR LOON AYE AND IV’E DEEN SOME CHEEKS AS WEEL HE REPLIED, TAKIN’ THE DISH OOT O’ THE OVEN AND KERRYIN IT DOON TAE THE CABIN. LAYIN THE DISH ON THE TABLE HE TOOK OFF UP INTAE THE GELLEY AFORE THEY STARTED. LISTENIN’ TAE FIT THEY WERE SAYIN’ HE HEARD AE LAD REMARK, THAT SKATES CHEEKS ARE AWFU TEUCH THEY QUID HAE DEEN WI’ A BITTY MAIR FRYIN’, BIT I WID ATE ONYTHIN’ AE NOO I’M JIST STERVIN. THE COOK DIDNA WAIT ONY LONGER HE AND HIS CHUMS WENT UP ON THE PIER AS FAST AS THEY QUID GO AFORE THEY REALISED FIT HE HAD DEEN, AND PRAYIN’ THAT THEY WIDNA MIN’ IN THE MORNIN’ FIN THEY SOBERED UP!


 


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