He knows aw the answers oor Willie does,
An his memory is simply amazing.
He’ll recite the Koran while he reads War and Peace,
(Well he will….. when he stops navel gazing).
He’s offered tae lecture the paratroops oan,
Jumping frae planes wi nae ‘chute.
He’ll master relativity while buttering his toast,
An push back the waves fur Canute.
Could oor Willie be King o the Scots noo?
Is it pairt o his long term agenda?
Could he rule, (wi a haun held remote control),
Frae his Fairyland hacienda?
When he stood in the Hall o Mirrors,
(Wi his equals he thought he’d converse).
But alas, he only got blinded,
By the starlight that shone frae his erse.