Themes for any literary
work can come from anywhere. For instance, two years ago the laker
Windoc suffered extensive damage to her superstructure when a lift
bridge dropped on her as she was passing through a section of the St.
Lawrence Seaway system. She was taken to the north east end of Hamilton,
Ontario, for repairs. The following winter a strong gale tore the unmanned
vessel from her moorings.
It should be mentioned that
this area of Hamilton is politically represented by Dominic Agostino,
Member of Provincial Parliament, and Sam Merula, a city councillor. Both
gentlemen are strong advocates of the squeaky-wheel-gets-the-grease
Such material inspired the
Last Winter news folk blamed
for Windoc unleashing her tether.
Though the North End had dinned,
it was not Nature’s wind,
but just Dom and Sam having a blether!
A few years ago, after a
flurry of exposed protests, a judge in Ontario ruled that it was ok for
women to go topless in public. Thus:
Bared breasts can stop
traffic it's true,
so graphic men's eyes stick like glue,
to be fined for lawbreaking,
is a shame just for taking
undue care and attention to view!
Limericks for limmers:
Ootside ma wee windy it’s
there’s ower six feet oan ma lawn.
Because shovellin’s a pain,
Ah’ll be takin’ a plane,
an’ it’s aff tae Las Palmas Ah’m gaun!
Whenever my girl quaffs
her manner becomes so uncouth.
Though her voice seems quite crisp,
it develops a lisp
when Elithabeth’s lipth go tho looth!
Imagine that place up on
where cherubs have feathers to fly,
although Heaven seems boring,
down below fires are roaring,
where Auld Nick has fresh check-ins to fry!
Yin haulf o’ the world is
addictions furnished by thugs.
A’ Ah crave is a joke
in a pub, clear o’ smoke,
guzzlin’ beers frae barmaids wi’ big jugs!
There wis a Young lass frae
wha mairrit a guy frae Craigneuk.
Forty years has since passed,
bit he’s still quite aghast
that she aye can read him like a book!
There wis an auld fart frae
wha rigged his sailboat tae manoeuvre
like a motorised ship.
Gaun astern wis a snip
jist as long as he sooked like a Hoover!
-Francis Kerr Young