from Francis Kerr Young
The Ballad of the Purple Pill
Last year I joined a study group
pertained to hypertension,
but pressing matters tried this troop,
some side effect extension;
in ballad rhyme, here is the scoop,
now lend me your attention:
We had to take two pills a day,
one's purple for the night,
with the coming of the sun's first ray
we had to take the white.
We were programmed come what may,
the side effects seemed slight.
Yet not so slight, for late that night
there came these side effects,
when pressure's right, it voided blight,
a blight called Flatus Rex!
A duvet became a billowing cloud,
unwrinklimg every fold,
while night reechoed long and loud
until sky turned blue from gold.
In that context, just clear the decks,
when one wails, "Thar she blows!’
Just launching one like Flatus Rex can decompose one’s nose!
Yet hypertension preludes stroke
which causes one's demise,
but Flatus Rex can all but choke
poor unsuspecting guys!
And talking of fatalities,
with Fate one could collide;
consuming Brussels sprouts, or peas;
while beans are suicide!
Review sometime your medication,
record the side effects,
one does not need that consternation
we know as Flatus Rex! If standing in an elevator
and you release a wisp,
just make sure that your deflator
does not have a lisp.
Mind you, at times some instigator
may crack one loud and crisp!
Prescriptions for this purple pill
are lawful and legal,
but some Purpled constipation still
be anything but regal
as one squats, eyes squeezed tight, will
squint like some razor-voiding beagle.
Sinful symptoms are here to stay
till this experiment
is deemed complete and passed ok
so purple pills present
a boon to hypertension, but hey!
until then I need to vent!
So never take a purple pill
unless you've hypertension.
For purple pills are volatile,
and this is my contention;
that purple pills will overspill
into the sniff dimension!
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