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You know you're really a Mum When


  • You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they are equal.
  • You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favourite toy and made him/her cry.
  • You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
  • You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
  • Your child throws up and you catch it.
  • You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
  • You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.
  • Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office and you do it.
  • You hire a baby sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
  • You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
  • You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
  • You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
  • You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.
  • You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
  • You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."
  • You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
  • You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."
  • You say at least once a day "I'm not cut out for this job." but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Doreen


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