On one of the old Clyde steamers, the man at
the wheel was being pestered by the stupid questions of a pompous,
English lady tourist. He answered all her questions briefly but
patiently for a long time, indicating quite clearly by the curtness of
his manner that she was seriously hindering him in his responsible work.
The passenger refused, however, to desist
and haughtily continued with her cross-examination until, losing his
temper, the sailor turned on her and - in language coloured by the
warmth of his feelings - told her exactly where she (and all her
kindred) could go.
In great indignation she immediately
reported the matter to the Captain, who did all he could to conciliate
her, promising that he would see that his subordinate offered her an
ample apology for his conduct and the violence of his language.
Somewhat mollified, the tourist thereupon
retired to the Saloon and proceeded with some agitation to recount her
experience to her fellow passengers. Just as she was finishing the
narrative, a burly figure in dripping oilskins appeared at the Saloon
door and called over to his former tormentor to make his apology.
"Are ye the leddy A telt ti gang ti
The lady nodded, and awaited the promised
"Weill" continued the sailor " the
Captain says ye neidna bother!"