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Fraser's Scottish Annual
In Lighter Vain

There is a good story told of a golfer. He was playing when he noticed the ragged condition of his caddie.

Rather touched by this, he gave the boy something to get some food with, and promised him a suit of old clothes. Later, hearing about a dependent mother, he dispatched a load of coal and a round of beef. The lad was very grateful indeed for all this kindness, and, with his eyes brimming with tears, he tried to say something befitting the occasion. "Please, sir "he began, and then he halted, "Oh, that's all right, my boy," said the benefactor, cheerily; "say nothing: be a good lad, that's all." Then the caddie could no longer restrain himself. The kindly thought which lay at the bottom of his heart broke through. "Please, sir," he cried; "I'm sorry you're such a bad player!"


"Are you good at solving riddles?" inquired Ross of Reid the other day.
"What have you got?" replied Reid.
"Well, supposing a train leaves London for Edinburgh and travels sixty miles an hour, and another train leaves Edinburgh for London at the same time and travels fifty miles an hour, which will be the farthest from London when they meet?
Reid pondered a moment, and then confidently replied—"I should say the train which left London, seeing that it travelled ten miles an hour faster than the other."
Ross laughed, and told Reid to try again, but the latter maintained that he was right.
"Umph!" remarked Ross, preparing to mount an approaching tramcar, "now, don't you think both trains would be the same distance from London when they met?
And when Reid thought a moment and saw through the puzzle Ross was several hundred yards away.

An Irish witness was being examined as to his knowledge of a shooting affair.

"Did you see the shot fired?" asked the magistrate.
"No, sorr, I only heard it," was the evasive answer.
"That evidence is not satisfactory," replied the magistrate, sternly, "stand down!"
The witness proceeded to leave the box, and directly his back was turned he laughed derisively.
The magistrate, indignant at this contempt of court, called him back, and asked him how he dared to laugh in court.
"Did you see me laugh, yer honor?" queried the offender.
"No, sir, but I heard you," was irate reply.
"That evidence is not satisfactory," said Pat quietly, with a twinkle in his eye.
This time everybody laughed except the magistrate.

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