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Some Old Scottish Street Poetry
Page 2

Fiona Hawke told us...

Remember the Eenty Teenty Haligolum poem we were talking about a while ago? My father wrote to my grandfather and he sent back his version:

Ezeenty Teenty Haligolum,
Figarty Fell, Ell Dell,
Drominell Arky Parky,
Torry Rope An Tan Toosy Jock.
Eary bary, Eary bary,
You are het! (or 'out'!)

Papa said it was used to choose teams or find 'it' for games. It was said at great speed. Dad said there was a great similarity to the old 1 to 10 method of counting sheep!

Bill Montgomery came back with...

In our area (Whiteinch) the rhyme went as follows,
Eenty teenty haligolum,
Throwin totties up the lum,
Santa Claus got wan in the bum,
you are oot.

Can anybody recall another rhyme that started
Wan potato, two potato, three potato four,
Five potato, six potato, seven potato more?
I can't for the life of me remember the rest of it.

But Alexander Campbell did...

Bill, as far as I remember that was the whole rhyme. Everyone stood around with their fists out; one person counted down a fist against each part of the rhyme until "more"; the person whose fist was touched 'on the 'more'' put that fist behind their back; the count started again; eventually only 1 person would be left with a fist out. That person was "het".

Remember :-
Come oot, come oot whaurever ye ur,
the games a Boagey, the man's in the Loaby!

We used to shout this to bring back everyone who had not been found when we were playing Hide-and-go-seek or aleevo!

Sandy Campbell came out with...

How about:
Hey Jock ma cuddy,
Ma cuddy lives o'er the dike,
An' if ye touch ma cuddy,
Ma cuddy'll gie ye a bite.

This is done with the wean sitting on your crossed leg and you bounce it up and down.
On the last line you 'toss' you leg higher.

and Elda Quinton replied with...

Likewise Sandy with the grandwean on your crossed leg:
See saw Marjorie Daw,
Johnny shall have a new master,
He shall pay but a penny a day,
Because he can't work any faster.

not to be outdone Joe Erskine came up with...

My Grandmother used to say a little poem.
Oh Dear me, Granny caught a flea
She salted it and peppered it and put it in her tea
The flea died and Granny cried.
Oh Dear me.

Mary Curran from Australia offered...

Last night ah went tae the fish shoap
A wee dug hid a haddie bone
A big dug tried tae take it aff him
so ah hit it wi' a tattie scone.

Ah went tae ma auntie Sarah's
Ma auntie Sarah wissnae there
ah peeked through a hole in the windae
And ah saw her in a chair

Her heid wis laying oan a pilla
Her erm wis leanin' oan the bed
Ah coulnae help fur laughin'
She wis scratchin' her widden leg!

and Andrew Boyle from New Zealand is trying to teach his grandson...

Noo this wee doo wis seek, it had hurted its beak, wi stabbin a dod o' hard breed.
When alang came a boy, ,jist a dirty wee boy, wi snotters and beasts on his heid.
The wee boy said jings, ah' love o' things wi wings, and gied the wee doo a big
cuddle, sorted its beak jist gave it a tweak, and saftened its breed in a puddle. Noo the
doo gulped the breed, its wis hunger no greed, and he said to boy thanks a lot, fur yer
jist a wee pet an' ah'll never forget, an the truth is he never forgot. So awe you folk
take heed, never slap wee boys that huv beasts in their heed, fur ye might slap the boy
that wis good tae the doo an' the next thing the doo 'll get you.

(look up)

Mary DeWitt remembered one her Mother had sung..

After the ball was over
Mary took out her glass eye
Put her false teeth in some water
Hung her false hair up to dry
Put her wooden leg in the corner
Hung her tin ear on the wall
And that was the end of Mary
After the ball!!

Katie E. added to our collection with...

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes my peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on my knife!

Another from my childhood that won't leave me:

I never saw a purple cow
I hope to never see one
But I can tell you this,
I'd rather see than be one!

and here are some contributions from David MacPhail

Last night murder at the fish shop
a wee dog stole a haddy fish
a big dog tried tae take it aff it
and a wuman hit it wae a dish

a ran roon tae tell ma auntie Celia
a shouted "Auntie Celia are yea in?"
I bored a hole in the window
and a saw ma auntie Celia was in

Her false teeth were lying on the table
her wig was lying on the bed
I laughed and I laughed till ma heed fell aff
when I saw her screwing aff her widdin leg...

ma mammy says ave tae go
wae ma daddies dinner'o
chammpit totties, stew and steak
wae a wee bit currant cake,
fur he's a fisherman
he caught a wee bit trout
he said tae the trout does yer mammie know your out
singing dont be weary try and be cheery dont be weary cause we're awe goin home

A came tae a river
a couldnae get across
a paid ten bob fur an auld lame horse,
a jumped on its back
its bones gave a crack
a played ma whistle tae the boat came back

The boat came back
we awe jumped in
the boat capsised and we awe fell in
singing dont be weary
try and be cheary
dont be weary cause we're awe goin hame

Gordon Dobbie reading the above reminded him of this slightly risky rhyme

keech bum tolly fart
awe went up the alley park,
keech bum couldney swim,
tolly fart through em in

he said we used to say this when ever we were next to water or a pond :-)

Charlotte Bleh came up with a longer version of the Flea!

Oh, dear me, my Granny caught a flea
She sa'ted it and pepper'd it
And had it for her tea.
My Granny didnae like it,
She gave it to her son.
Her son didnae like it,
He threw it up the lum
The lum gave a crack.
The hoose gave a shak,
And doon came Granny wi' her shirt a' black.

Wee Katie Aka Chrissie Barr fae in Canada sent in these one liners which were heard at a Glesca party...

Wan singer, wan song!

Point of order therr!


C'moan noo don't be shy!

Hey hauns aff, rat's ma burd.

When's the winchin start?

Gei it laldy hen

Gon yer tottie!!

Thur's nae haudin her back wance she starts!

Gei sumbdy else a chance!

Gie, that wee fulla in ri, coarner annurra bucket!

"Cum oan son, sing 'oan wee wan ye know, it's cau'd "Rapael".. an the wee yin, ston's up an' sings, "Arra pale moon wis risin' abuve ara green mountings, ara sun wis de cleynin' aneath, ri blue sea"!!! ...Commonly known as The Rose of Trallee!!

Right c'moan lads get yur hauns in yer poakets an' chip in fur ra cairy oot.

If thurs nae talent is this party, ah'm fur re offski - aye an' ah'm it yer back!!!

How did ye rate a gless? ah goat a jam jaur.

Get yur plates o' meat aff ma maw's couch -- she'll hiv a hairy fit!

Ah hope he disny try tae sing Danny Boy AGAIN!!!!

Whittle ah sing? - sing the song ye sung it yer mothers weddin!

Sumday's been sick oot ra windy!!

Chuck rat yin oot -- he'd cause a fight in an empty hoose.

Geis the mice hole song. Don' hink ah know rat wan how's it go? Shall mice hole pass thru auld Ireland.

A wee story from Elda...

When my late husband and I arrived in London, we rang my parents to tell them we'd be on a particular plane from London to Glasgow. They, of course were all excited about meeting my new husband and shot off to the airport to meet us.
Well!!! We got stuffed up, didn't we? Who should turn up unexpectedly and take our seats away but Lulu & her entourage (UK pop singer for those who don't know).
We got offloaded to the next flight.
Now, picture my Mammy!
There's all these photographers, etc crowding around when this place landed. She's trying to catch a glimpse of me coming off this plane.
She couldn't see for all the press and commented to a wee wumman standing next to her. " What's going on?"
The wee wumman said, "It's Lulu coming off this plane."
My Mammy says, " Lulu????? Who gives a stuff about her? My lassie's coming from Australia with her new man! I'll bet you Lulu's mother isn't here!"
The wee wumman says," I'm her mother."

What made us laugh even more when Mum related this story was that she commented that you would never have known...."I mean she wisnae even wearing a fur coat," she said.
Have you ever laughed all the way from Glasgow airport to Cumbernauld????? We did!!! And that was my late husband's first introduction to my Mammy *grin*.

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