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Children's Stories
by Margo Fallis
You're Stuck,  Alastair Ant

You're Stuck,  Alastair Ant

There was a red ant that was very very fat.
He wore a red bowtie, and he wore a red hat.
From the moment he got up until he went to bed,
Alastair Ant ate cookies, pies, and pumpernickel bread.

He ate falafel, he ate ice cream; he ate fries quite a lot.
He ate with his hands and feet, and never used a pot.
Soon Alastair Ant found he was as big as a house.
He got that way by eating like a horse, not a mouse.

One day he went outside to have a picnic meal.
He ended it by eating ham and cheese, and orange peel.
The sky began to darken, he needed to leave right then.
But not until he'd eaten a couple of warm gingerbread men.

The hole that was at the top of the ant's dirt hill
Was large enough for most ants, and bigger ones still.
But a problem soon arose as Alastair began to go
Into the ant hill; he got stuck, and cried out, "Oh no!" 

The other ants wanted to get inside when it began to rain.
Puddles were forming on the ground. "I'm in pain!"
Said Alastair Ant, who was stuck right in the middle.
The ants inside just laughed and called him a diddle.  

Outside the hill, the ants all pushed, and pushed, real hard.
"Alastair, you're so fat. You're quite a pile of lard.
We can't get inside," they cried and pushed 1,2,3,4.
Alastair moved a little bit, and then a little more.

The inside ants grabbed his hands, the outside ones his legs.
They even tried to pry him out with little wooden pegs.
"Let's all push together. Now heave, heave, ho!"
And Alastair Ant fell into the anthill down below.  

He landed with a thud. "Now that's enough of that.
I will not eat so much, then I won't be so fat."
So instead of eating milkshakes, and marshmallow chicks,
He decided it was better to eat corn or carrot sticks.  

Never again would Alastair Ant get stuck inside the hole.
They'd never have to push and shove, or pry him with a pole.
Alastair learned that being a fat ant wasn't very wise.
He'd never eat bad food; no more goat cheese and fig pies.

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