(Well known savoury biscuits in Australia and the USA)

Lyrics composed by John Henderson in 2006
to Johnny S. Black's 1915 music for 'A Paper Doll'

I'm gonna eat a lot of 'Wheat Thins' from their box right quick
They are the kinda 'Crackers' I like best
For they're a crunchy, munchy 'Snack' with such a crispy feel
I pop them in my mouth with utter zest

When I come home ev'ry day they're always waiting
And I ever savour thoughts of their sweet taste
Ickly-tickling as they rattle round my teeth and tongue
Chewing noisily so none to waste

I must have eaten thousands 'Wheat Thins' o'er the past few weeks
Such nourishment it must have done me good
For I have never felt so well with boundless energy
To tackle life as all old codgers should

When I came home each night they were always waiting
And I ever savoured thoughts of their sweet taste
Ickly-tickling as they rattled round my teeth and tongue
Chewing noisily so none to waste

I told my pals I found it hard to be without
Lots boxes of 'Wheat Thins' to give me clout
As there was no doubt
I then got about
Free from all aches or any crippling gout

My pals tell me that they have come to agree
That their munching sweet 'Wheat Thins' regularly
Made them less dittery
Even less crittery
Than ever they used to be.

Now we all eat a lot of 'Wheat Thins' from their box right quick.
They are the kinda 'Crackers' we like best
For they're a crunchy, munchy 'Snack' with such a crispy feel
We pop them in our mouths with utter zest.

When we go home ev'ry day they're always waiting
And all of us savour thoughts of their sweet taste
Ickly-tickling as they rattle round our teeth and gums
Chomping noisily so none to waste

We all have eaten millions 'Wheat Thins' since we were convinced
That these crisp biscuits sure did lots of good
For we have never felt so well with increased energy
To enjoy life as all retired folks should

When we get up ev'ry morning life is rosey
And we appreciate all what 'Wheat Thins' have done
Ickly-tickling as they rattle round our teeth and tongues
Making such a diet lots of fun.