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Lyrics composed by John Henderson on the 18th of February, 2015
A parody in English of WD Cocker's 1935 poem 'Clegs' in Scots

On Earth the Lord created man
According to a well thought plan
With beasts and birds and creeping things
That get about on legs or wings.

But jealous 'Nick', to show his cunning
Soon had more creatures up and running;
He made his worst with wings and legs,
So it was 'Nick' who dreamt up clegs.

Who but the 'Deil' would ever plan
A plague like that for beast or man?
Yes, quiet as drops of dew 'Nick's' clegs
Drop down upon your hands and legs.

A stab, a suck is their attack,
Then off they'll fly 'fore you can smack;
They'll drain you to the very dregs,
If you're their choice, Ugh! filthy clegs!

One cleg-bite's bad, but more's affliction
That just might add to their addiction
To target then your nose or cheek
With wounds that last until next week!

More supple than a mite or flea;
More troublesome than wasp or bee;
Chief of all pests with wings or legs;
Most ravenous of insects ..... CLEGS !

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