Lyrics composed by John Henderson on the 26th of March, 2016
to Nat Simon and Charlie Tobias' 1943 music for their song
'I Wish That I Could Hide Inside This Letter'.

Introductory Music

My porridge now I microwave for breakfast
From Quaker Oats well wrapped up in a poke;
Minutes are all they need, to satisfy indeed
My empty stomach's call that it is quite impatient for a feed.
My pyrex dish I half fill-up with oat flakes,
Then sprinkle salt and sugar with the milk;
The mixture next is placed within the oven
Till it comes out as smoothly as fine silk.
Such porridge now I know is seldom lumpy;
At least they're not so lumpy as before
When I'd watched my father's plight, while steeping them each night
Struggling ev'ry morn in an effort to get things right.
He'd stir and stir and stir right on for ages,
But never seemed to smooth things out enough;
I'd sometimes hear him moan and groan and grumble,
"Och porridge oats to cook you're mighty tough."
..........
Give thanks that inventions' improvements
Have made breakfast-making a joy;
Less time needs to be wasted on stirring
As Dad had to do man and boy.
..........
His porridge now he microwaves for breakfast
From Quaker Oats well wrapped up in a poke;
Minutes are all they need, to satisfy indeed
His empty stomach's call that it is quite impatient for a feed.
His pyrex dish he half fills-up with oat flakes,
Then sprinkles salt and sugar with the milk;
The mixture next is placed within the oven
Till it comes out as smoothly as fine silk.
Such porridge now he knows is seldom lumpy;
At least they're not so lumpy as before
When he'd tholed his sorry plight, while steeping them each night
Struggling ev'ry morn in an effort to get things right.
He'd stir and stir and stir right on for ages,
But never seemed to smooth things out enough;
He'd sometimes give a moan and groan and grumble,
"Och porridge oats to cook you're mighty tough."