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Frank McNie's Poems

Twa Handymen

Is it a handyman ye need?
Well were twa handymen indeed.
A'm the best there's ever been,
Ind he's the best a've ever seen.

Big jobs wee jobs, ony size,
We'll transform this place afore yer eyes.
Andy's great wi doors ind trim,
Ye cin always rely on him.

A'm a dab hand wi the plumin,
Ah'll install a thingy tae wash yer bum in.
We'll no touch the eelectric though,
Since Andy's eyes began tae glow.

Last time jist as the ceement dried,
Ah got Andy oot afore he died.
We dae ceilings like Mikell Angelo,
Bit this time the carpets hiv tae go.

Wi could dae it in a mare professional manner,
If Andy hidnae pawned the hammer.
Ye'll get a lifetime guarantee.
When it falls apart you jist call me.

We'll start tomorrow at the crack of noon,
Hiv the kettle on fur we'll need it soon.



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