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Mo Hawg - Week 21


Day 1.

   According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids (or piglets) in the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s and even 1960s, 1970s and the early 1980s should not have survived! For those who have come along since then, Mo presents: "I Can't Believe We Made It" for Today: We drank water from the garden hose and hot from an expensive bottle.  Horrors!  We survived.

   Things Mo Has Learned As He Has Matured: I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

   Mo's friend, Al Eaton from Orlando, Florida, sent along some wisdom for Mo's readers who might be thinking about getting a dog.  Al writes, "Rule No. 6.  The dog is never allowed on the furniture."
   "Rule No. 7.  The dog can get up on the old furniture."
   "Rule No. 8.  Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new furniture, upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed."

Day 2.   

    In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful computer error message with Haiku poetry message.  Mo knows about Haiku.  (It has strict construction rules with only 17 syllables allowed in each poem; 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second line and 5 in the third line.) 
   Mo presents actual error messages from Japan: "Three things are certain Death, taxes and lost data.  Guess which has occurred?"

   Things Mo Has Learned As He Has Matured: I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

   Mo's friend, Al Eaton from Orlando, Florida, sent along some wisdom for Mo's readers who might be thinking about getting a dog.  Al writes, "Rule No. 9.  The dog never sleeps on the bed.  Period."
   "Rule No. 10.  Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed."
   "Rule No. 11.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers."
   "Rule No. 12.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room."

Day 3.

  According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids (or piglets) in the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s and even 1960s, 1970s and the early 1980s should not have survived! For those who have come along since then, Mo presents: "I Can't Believe We Made It" for Today: We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.  We survived.

   Things Mo Has Learned As He Has Matured: I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

   Mo's friend, Al Eaton from Orlando, Florida, sent along some wisdom for Mo's readers who might be thinking about getting a dog.  Al writes, "Rule No. 14.  Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room where I'm now sleeping.  That's just not fair."
   "Rule No. 15.  The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as 'primary resident,' even if it is true."
   Thanks, Al!

Day 4.
    
   Mo's good friend, Buck Buchanan from Vacaville, California - a decorated World War II  Flying Ace and hero - sent along his personal rules and truths about healthy eating.  Mo is glad to share Buck's insight and knowledge with you!  Finally, a diet and lifestyle Mo can do!
   Buck's Healthy Eating Truths: (Mo knows that these are for fun! Please do not take these to your doctor and ask him if you can adopt this way of life and eating!)  
   Another question today from Earl Ray: "Mo & Buck, can you recommend some good home exercise equipment?
    After consultation with Buck, we reply, "Remember 'No pain.good?'  You must not be reading Mo every day!  If you insist upon exercise, Berkline, Lane and Lazy Boy make some really good rocker/recliners.  The remote control is another great piece of exercise equipment to have in the home."

   Things Mo Has Learned As He Has Matured: I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

Day 5. 
  
   Things Mo Has Learned As He Has Matured:  I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

   George McP. from Savannah, Georgia is a long-time reader and fan of Mo Hawg!  (Yes, Mo has a fan!)  George sent in these new definitions for words we only think we know: Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray'-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

   Every once in awhile over the next few weeks, Mo is going to have a little quiz for those of you who grew up in the 1940s and thereabouts!  It's fun!
   The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it.  For what was it used?
   Was it: To capture lightning bugs?  To sprinkle clothes before ironing?  To be used as a large salt shaker?
   Does Mo have to explain ironing?  Our answer today is that that RC bottle was used to sprinkle clothes before ironing.  Who had a steam iron?


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