| Day 1.
Mo gets to travel quite
a bit in his work. We’ll share some of Mo’s favorite signs seen here and
there across our country. Puns are alive and well!
In
a veterinarian’s office: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit. Stay!”
Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes,
folks!) And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
Mo’s Favorite Pun for Today: Why didn’t the frog sit on the toadstool?
Because there wasn’t mushroom. (Think about it!)
Have you ever thought about when you’re in an airliner at 30,000 feet
going 500 miles an hour, the pilot comes over the intercom and tells you
to feel free to roam around the airplane. When you’re on the ground
taxiing to the gate at one mile per hour, he tells you to remain seated
for your own safety.
Oink.
Day
2.
Mo
gets to travel quite a bit in his work. We’ll share some of Mo’s favorite
signs seen here and there across our country. Puns are alive and well!
At
the electric co-op: “We would be de-lighted if you pay your bill.
However, if you don’t…you will be!”
Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes,
folks!) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive!
Mo’s Favorite Pun for Today: One foot was looking for another foot to
marry because it wanted a sole-mate.
Mo’s Expert Analysis for Today: MGM Executive Irving Thalberg was talking
to Louis B. Mayer about film rights to Gone With The Wind. Mr. Thalberg
said, “No Civil War picture ever made a nickel.”
Day
3.
Mo
gets to travel quite a bit in his work. We’ll share some of Mo’s favorite
signs seen here and there across our country. Puns are alive and well!
In
a restaurant window in Atlanta: “Don’t stand there and be hungry. Come in
and get fed up!”
Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes,
folks!) Avoid clichés like the plague. (They are old hat!)
Mo’s Favorite Pun for Today: She said I lived in an ugly house. I knocked
her flat!
Mo’s Expert Analysis for today: John Hunt, British editor, scholar and art
critic once said, “Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of
character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille!”
Day
4.
Mo
gets to travel quite a bit in his work. We’ll share some of Mo’s favorite
signs seen here and there across our country. Puns are alive and well!
At
a propane gas filling station: “Tank heaven for little grills.”
Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes,
folks!) Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Mo’s Household Hint: Pam cooking spray will dry fingernail polish.
Mo’s Expert Analysis for Today: Tris Speaker, commenting on Babe Ruth’s
plan to change from being a pitcher to an outfielder, “Ruth made a great
mistake when he gave up pitching. Working once a week, he might have
lasted a long time and become a great star!”
Day
5.
Earl Ray sent us this tale. (Here’s an official bad joke warning!)
Earl Ray writes that two brooms were hanging in the closet. After awhile,
they got to know each other so well they decided to get married.
One
broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom.
The
bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was
handsome and suave in his tuxedo.
The
wedding was lovely. Afterwards, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom
leaned over and said to the groom broom.
“I
think I am going to have a little whisk broom.”
“Impossible!” said the groom broom…
(Are you ready? Brace yourself, this is going to hurt…)
The
groom broom said… “We haven’t even swept together!” |
