| Day 1.
Robert R. from Riverside is probably
Moultrie’s finest punster. We thank Bob for sending this one to Mo!
Bob’s story goes: A giraffe, a donkey and a camel – plus their friend,
the pig – all went to an audition at a comedy club.
The camel was first up. He did an impersonation of a llama, told a
dozen jokes and then left the stage. The judges all laughed.
It was the giraffe’s turn. He cleared his throat – which took some
time. Then, the giraffe did a headstand and told some very tall tales.
The judges really thought the giraffe was funny and invited her back the
next day.
Next, it was the donkey’s turn on stage. The judges got a real kick
out of the donkey’s act and invited him back the next day.
Finally, it was the pig’s turn. He stood at the microphone (Bob R.
says the pig was Mo – but I deny it!) and gold a really long shaggy-dog
story about a dog. The joke was so long that it took two and a half hours
to tell it. The judges were so upset that they threw me (urr, the pig)
out of the club on his ear.
Why didn’t the judges like the pig?
He was a real boar.
Day 2.
Mo’s Trivia Question for Today: Did you
know that one of America’s all-time favorite he-man actors appeared on a
baby food label when he was an infant? He did. Our questions for today:
Who was he? What was the brand of baby food?
Don’t know? Mo knows. Mo bets you will be surprised!
It was Humphrey Bogart! He was the infant pictured on the Mellins Baby
Food jars!
Mo’s James Howell Wisdom for Today: Choose thy friends like thy books,
few but choice.
Mo’s Other Trivia Question for Today: Do you know the number of
memberships – or seats – in the New York Stock Exchange? It’s the same
number that has been fixed since 1953.
Don’t know? Mo knows.
There are exactly one thousand three-hundred and sixty-six memberships
in the New York Stock Exchange.
Mo’s Wisdom: Friends, unlike fashions, should never change.
Day 3.
Mo’s Trivia Question for Today: Everybody
is familiar with the Grant Wood painting American Gothic (Where the very
stern-faced couple are standing in front of a house and the man has a
pitchfork. Remember?). Do you know who the people were?
Can’t think of it? Mo knows.
The two people in the famous painting are the artist’s dentist and his
sister!
Really!
Mo’s Old Proverb Wisdom for Today: The best mirror is an old friend.
Little Bubba has sent us riddles to share. Be warned.
What do you get when you cross a sheep with a kung fu master?
Give up?
You get lamb chops!
What did the sheep say to his beloved?
“There’s something I have to tell you: I love ewes.”
What did the beloved say back?
“Don’t worry, I love ewes too.”
Day 4.
Mo’s Trivia Question for Today: What do the
letters “V.S.O.P.,” on bottles of premium cognac stand for? Mo drinks
diet soda…and there are no initials on most diet soda bottles…but, in
spite of that, Mo does know the answer to this.
Do you know?
Mo knows that “V.O.S.P.,” on bottles of premium cognac stands for “Very
Superior Old Pale.”
Mo’s Godwin Wisdom for Today: One is taught by experience to put a
premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
Finally! Little Earl Ray sent in some lovely pig stories! Mo loves
pig stories!
What do pigs see when they go to the ballet?
Swine Lake.
Why are pigs always in fashion?
They are sty-lish!
What happened when the pig couldn’t get up from his fall?
He called the hambulance!
Day 5.
Mo’s Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Wisdom
for Today: The greatest grace of a gift, perhaps, is that it anticipates
and admits of no return.
Two little skunks, one named In and one named Out, wanted to go outside
and play. Their parents told them they could go out, but two hours later,
only Out came back.
“Hasn’t In come in?” asked Mother Skunk.
“Out went out with In but only Out came back in,” said Father Skunk.
“Well, Out,” said Mother, “you better go out and find In and bring her
in.”
So Out did. Only a few minutes later, he returned with his sister.
“Good for you,” said Mother Skunk. “How did you find her?”
(Here it comes…) Out smiled. He said, “Instinct.”
Bob R. from Riverside sent that one in!
Mo’s Trivia Question for Today: All men should know the answer to
today’s Trivia Question. Here it comes: What was the first wireless TV
remote control called? It was invented by Eugene Polley – an engineer for
Zenith. It was introduced in 1955.
Don’t know? Mo knows!
That 1955 very first remote control was called “The Flashmatic.” |
