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The Ellen Payne Odom Genealogy Library Family Tree
Mo Hawg - Week 30


Day 1.

   Mo’s Odd Mathematical Rule for Today: The shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

  Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

  Mo’s Household Hint: Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint!

   Mo’s Wisdom: The smallest hole will eventually empty the largest container, unless it is made intentionally for drainage, in which case it will clog.

   We’ve been adding some staff at The Observer in Moultrie.  One of the employment forms had this statement – written exactly like this: “If there is a single word to describe me, that word would have to be ‘profectionist.’”

Day 2.

   Mo’s Odd Mathematical Rule for Today: 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

   Mrs. Bubba was serving dinner to our Bubba.  “It’s a hamburger surprise.  You had it yesterday and the day before…and you certainly didn’t expect to get it tonight!”

   Mo’s Household Hint: Put Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt and let the kids use it as finger paint. 

   Mo’s Wisdom: In every restaurant the hardness of the butter pats increases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread being served.

Day 3.

   Mo’s Odd Mathematical Rule for Today: 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) One should NEVER generalize.

   Mo’s Household Hint: If your bicycle chain sticks…spray with Pam no-stick cooking spray!  Pam will also remove paint and grease from your hands.

   Mo’s Household Hint: If you have an old Slinky around the house use it to hold toast or CDs!

   Mo’s Wisdom: If you have no trouble finding a place to park, you won’t be able to find your car.

Day 4.

   Mo’s Odd Mathematical Rule for Today: 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

   Mo’s Household Hint: To keep flowers fresh, use 7-Up instead of water in the vase!

   Mo’s Wisdom: If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.   

   More Mo’s Wisdom: Every new project goes through three phases: It will not work.  It will cost too much.  I thought it was a good idea all along. 

  Here’s an idea that will show everyone how technologically advanced you are.  You can have an answering machine attached to your cell phone that says you’re not in because you’re home!

Day 5.

   Mo’s Odd Mathematical Rule for Today: 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

   Mo’s Household Hint: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.  Call it SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

   Mo’s Wisdom: The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.

   Overheard on a bus in New York after a concert at the Met:   “Isaac Stern and Vladimir Feltsman played together…it was wonderful.”

   “What did they play?”

   There was a long pause.  Then the concert-goer replied, “I’m trying to remember.  It sounded like the name of a famous singer.”

   Across the aisle, someone chimed in, “It was Franck’s Sonata in A-Major!”


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