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The Ellen Payne Odom Genealogy Library Family Tree
Mo Hawg - Week 32


Day 1.

   Mo’s been lurking (Mo loves to lurk!) at the courtroom in Colquitt County!  Here are things actually overheard:

   Question: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

   Answer: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

   Whenever Bubba does minor work on the car, he invites his six-year-old grandson, Little Bubba, to help.

   One day, Little Bubba’s dad asked him, “What does your Grandpa pay you for all that help fixing his car that you do?”

   Hands on hips, Little Bubba looked his dad in the eye and replied, “Why Grandpa pays me attention!”

Day 2.

   Mo’s been lurking (Mo loves to lurk!) at the courtroom in Colquitt County!  Here are things actually overheard:

   Question: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

   Answer: Yes.

   Question: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

   Answer: I forget.

   Question: You forget.  Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.

   Mo’s Wisdom: There are three ways to get something done.  Do it yourself.  Employ someone to do it.  Forbid your children to do it.

Day 3.

      Mo’s been lurking (Mo loves to lurk!) at the courtroom in Colquitt County!  Here are things actually overheard:

   Question: How old is your son – the one living with you?

   Answer: Thirty-eight or thirty-five.  I can’t remember which.

   Question: How long has he lived with you?

   Answer: Forty-five years.

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know.”

   Mo’s Wisdom: The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other.

   More Mo’s Wisdom: Swing hard in case they throw the ball where you’re swinging!

Day 4.

      Mo’s been lurking (Mo loves to lurk!) at the courtroom in Colquitt County!  Here are things actually overheard:

   Question: Now Dr. ______, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

   Mo’s How to Speak English Properly Lesson for Today: (These are jokes, folks!) If you’re heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

   What you really learn in college!  Quarters are worth their weight in gold.  There are three basic options to school – study, sleep or party – but only two can be performed successfully during any given semester.  Instant noodles are their own food group.  You can always use more shelves. Most of what Mom and Dad said really does make sense.  Duct tape is like the Force: it has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together.

Day 5.

   Two Colquitt County youngsters picked hundreds of pecans in the woods and stopped at Sunset Cemetery to divide them.  As one of the boys was counting, “One for you and one for me,” two nuts rolled out underneath the fence.  At the same time, a young man walked by heard the boys talking and raced back to The Sportsman in town, terrified.

   “What’s the matter?” asked one of the Coffee Club.

   “The Lord and the devil are dividing the souls in the cemetery!” the young fellow shouted.

   “I don’t believe it,” said the Coffee Club member.

   “Come and listen for yourself,” the young man invited.

   Stealthily approaching the graveyard, the two men heard a voice saying, “One for you and one for me.”

   “There,” piped up the other voice.  “Now we’re finished, except for those two nuts outside the fence.  Let’s divide those and we’ll be even.”

   The Coffee Club member beat the young man back to town!


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