| Day 1.
Mo’s Wisdom via Eubie Blake, jazz pianist
who died at age 100 years (and Mo’s friend, Jeanne Williams): “Be grateful
for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don’t hate
nobody.”
Mo’s Dumb Directions
for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On a Sears
hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping.” (And that’s the only time Mo has
to work on his hair!)
Mo’s Frugal Pig Hint
for Today: Save all those envelopes and return envelopes that bills and
statements and junk mail comes in…and turn them into scratch paper. Just
keep a small basket for the discarded envelopes on your desk near the
phone. Don’t forget to keep that little pencil you brought home from the
golf course in the basket with them!
Mo’s Wisdom: If you
can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Day 2.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On a
bag of Frito’s: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (Mmmm…the shoplifter special?)
Mo’s Frugal Pig
Hint for Today: Old calendars make beautiful envelopes! Just unfold an
envelope of the size you want…trace the outline on that old calendar
picture…cut out and paste together following the way the original envelope
was folded and pasted. You may need to use a blank label for the
address…but nobody will forget your mail! (And, they are free!)
Mo’s Wisdom: The real
art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the most tempting moment!
More Mo’s Wisdom: The
older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body
and your fat are really really good friends.
Day 3.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On a
bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And…that would be
how?)
Mo’s Frugal Pig Hint
for Today: Get one of those flashlights that has a built-in magnet for
hanging it on metal (any hardware stores sells them) and remove the top
and the “innards” and save them elsewhere for use later. Hang the
flashlight body on your refrigerator and keep a few pens and pencils
there. You’ll never have to search for a writing instrument again!
Gotcha’! You learned
something useful from Mo!
Mo’s Wisdom: A penny
saved is a government oversight.
More Mo’s Wisdom:
Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Mo’s Household Hint
for Today: Use toothpaste to clean piano keys! Squeeze a little
toothpaste on a soft cloth and scrub keys. Rinse thoroughly, being
careful not to get water between the keys.
Day 4.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) This
was actually on some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion:
Defrost.” (But that’s just a suggestion!)
Mo’s Frugal Pig
Hint for Today: Need a desk? An easy and inexpensive solution is to use a
hollow-core door (placed on top of two 2-drawer filing cabinets you found
at the used furniture/office supply store. If there’s a doorknob hole,
use it to organize cords for the computer, lamp or phone by passing them
through the hole – or, you can just put a cut or tin can in the hole to
keep your pens and pencils handy!
Mo’s Wisdom: The
easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement!
Mo’s Household Hint
for Today: You can crumple up a piece of aluminum foil and dip it in
Coca-Cola and scrub rust spots on your automobile bumper. It works. You
can also pour a can of Coke over your car battery terminals to bubble away
the corrosion.
Day 5.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On
Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert…printed on the bottom: “Do not turn upside down.”
(That’s advice a little late in coming!)
Mo’s Frugal Pig Hint
for Today: Need to organize your 3 ½ inch computer discs? Use a
quart-size milk or orange juice carton to make a disc holder. Make sure
the carton is really clean and dry, then cut off one long side and the
entire folding top. The little discs just fit!
Mo’s Wisdom: He who
hesitates is probably right.
More Mo’s Wisdom: If
you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody. |
