| Day 1.
Mo’s Dumb Directions for Today: (Actual
label instructions on consumer goods…) On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
“Product will be hot after heating.” (Do you think so? Oink!)
Mo’s Frugal Pig Hint
for Today: Need a magazine holder? Just cut an empty economy sized cereal
box in half diagonally and the magazines will fit. If you’re careful, you
can get two holders from one box! If you don’t want the box as is…you can
always cover with contact paper…or that left-over gift wrap.
Mo’s Wisdom: If you
can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
More Mo’s Wisdom: The
sold purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he is really
in trouble.
Day 2.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On
the packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” (But
think of the time you’d save!)
Mo’s Favorite
Saying for Today: “I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been
stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.” Steven Wright.
Mo’s Wisdom: The mind
is like a parachute; it works much better when it is open.
Mo’s Coca-Cola
Interesting Fact for Today: One of the four partners of Coca-Cola
inventor, Dr. John Styth Pemberton, was bookkeeper Frank M. Robinson. Mr.
Robinson suggested naming the drink after two of the main ingredients: the
coca leaf and the kola nut. He suggested spelling kola with a c
for the sake of alliteration. He wrote the name in his bookeeper’s
Spencerian script, much the way it appears today.
Day 3.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On
Boot’s Children Cough Medicine (Used for children under 12): “Do not drive
a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (Think of the
construction accidents that could be prevented if we could just get those
4-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts!)
Mo’s Favorite Saying
for Today: “Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.”
Bubba.
Mo’s Wisdom: There’s
always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to think about it. For
example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t
hurt.
More Mo’s Wisdom:
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
Mo’s Household Hint
for Today: If you have a load of greasy work clothes, add detergent to
the washing machine…and then add a can of Coca-Cola to the washer as
well. The drink will help loosen grease stains!
Day 4.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) The
directions on Nytol Sleep Aid say, “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (And
why am I taking this?)
Mo’s Favorite Saying
for Today: “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!” Anonymous.
This is fun! Just
read this sentence straight through without really thinking about it.
“Acocdming to an
eignshih unviesitry study the order of letters in a word doeen’t mttaer,
the only thing that’s iopmrantt is that the frsit and lsat ltteer of every
word is in the crcreot ptoision. The rset can be jmbueld and one is still
able to raed the txet wiohtut dclftfuiiy.”
Mo’s spell check just
blew up…but that was neat!
Mo’s Wisdom: Those who
get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Day 5.
Mo’s Dumb
Directions for Today: (Actual label instructions on consumer goods…) On
most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”(Where
else?)
Mo’s Favorite
Saying for Today: “42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.”
Anonymous.
Mo’s Wisdom: Once
you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Mo’s Household Hint
for Today: If you get an ink spot on cloth, apply ReaLemon liberally to
the spot and then wash garment in normal cycle with regular detergent in
cold water! It works!
You can have fun with
lemon juice too. Use a cotton swab as a pen to write in lemon juice on a
piece of white paper. Once it dries, hold the paper near a hot light
bulb. The writing will turn brown. |
