| Day 1.
Mo’s Eating Tips for any Special Gathering:
If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
(Remember, these tips are for fun – although gravy IS good!)
Mo’s Favorite News
Story from 2003: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting
to subdue a gunman who had barricatred himself inside his home. After
firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and
give yourself up.”
Oink.
One of our Colquitt
County First Grade teachers gave each of her students the first half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come u p with the remainder of the
proverb. It’s amazing that these were done by first graders as their
insight will surprise you!
Don’t bite the hand
that….looks dirty.
Day 2.
Mo’s Eating Tips for
any Special Gathering: Mashed potatoes. Always ask if they are made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like
buying a sports car with automatic transmission. (Remember, these tips
are fun – although mashed potatoes with real milk and real butter are
yummy!)
Mo’s Favorite News
Story from 2003: An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.
One of our Colquitt
County First Grade teachers gave each of her students the first half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come u p with the remainder of the
proverb. It’s amazing that these were done by first graders as their
insight will surprise you!
No news
is….impossible.
Day 3.
Mo’s Eating Tips for
any Special Gathering: Do not have a snack before going to a party in an
effort to control your eating. The whole point of a party is to eat yummy
food….for free! (Remember, these trips are for fun…)
Mo’s Favorite News
Story from 2003: A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas, Kwik Stop and asked
for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small,
so the would-be thief tied up the store clerk and worked the counter
himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
One of our Colquitt
County First Grade teachers gave each of her students the first half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come u p with the remainder of the
proverb. It’s amazing that these were done by first graders as their
insight will surprise you!
A miss is as good as a
…Mr.
Day 4.
Mo’s Eating Tips for
any Special Gathering: Under no circumstances should you exercise between
Christmas and New Year’s. You can do that in January when there’s nothing
else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after
circling the buffet table carrying a huge plate of food and a vat of
eggnog. (Remember, folks, these tips are fun…although some of them make
good sense to Mo!)
Mo’s Favorite News
Story from 2003: Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all
your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “That’s not what I said.”
One of our Colquitt
County First Grade teachers gave each of her students the first half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come u p with the remainder of the
proverb. It’s amazing that these were done by first graders as their
insight will surprise you!
You can’t teach an
old dog new….math.
Day 5.
Mo’s Eating Tips for
any Special Gathering: If there are lots of pies at the buffet table, have
a slice of each.
Mo’s Sort of Skewed
Wisdom: One who jumps off a bridge in Paris is in Seine.
Mo’s Favorite News
Story from 2003: A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is
expecting and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first
child?” the 911 operator asked.
“No!” the man
shouted. “This is her husband.”
One of our Colquitt
County First Grade teachers gave each of her students the first half of a
well-known proverb and asked them to come u p with the remainder of the
proverb. It’s amazing that these were done by first graders as their
insight will surprise you!
Love all, trust…me. |
