Limerick #1 12/31/02
There once was an old man named Luke,
Without a doubt he felt he had quite a fluke.
His wife he adored, she was his chum,
No matter upstairs she lacked some.
Oh yeah! She was quite a spook!
Limerick #2 12/31/02
There once was a carpenter named Phil.
He worried he was over the hill.
"Don't worry at all." His wife said.
"You really are not totally dead."
Now wonders he, "This means I'm a thrill?"
Limerick #3 12/31/02
There was a young man who all at once knew.
He had married a shrew.
Should he offer her up for ransom?
Maybe leave her at Branson?
He is always open to suggestions as to what to do!
Limerick #4 12/31/02
"I'll dance at your next wedding," said she.
He looked at her with horror for any to see.
"Oh no you won't!" Came his reply.
"On that, I'm ready to fly."
"I've had it with women, wages, and dancin' the Wahtusie!"
Limerick #5 12/31/02
I'm sick of hearin' "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."
Those folks just ain't never met my wife.
"Be a sport!" She giggled with no remorse.
"I'm yours, Honey!" "Matter of course."
He wailed, "Don't anyone ever tell me again, Get a life"
Limerick #6 12/31/02
Up in the meadow, up in the grove,
The cattle always wanted to rove.
Their thoughts must have been of love,
So off they ran with hat and glove.
Now the herd is older, sits around the stove.
Limerick #7 12/31/02
Are we a product of our environment,
Or by our parents the "twig is bent."
It really doesn't matter at all.
Time goes on as I recall.
She ended that lofty discussion and in her eye there was a glint.
There lived in the swamp an alligator named Sue.
She was so hungry she didn't know what to do.
She snapped at a log.
She snapped at the dog.
Then the postman, poor Sue, boo hoo.
Limerick # 9
They called the mouse, "Mable."
She loved to set the table.
All with silver, crystal, china, napkin.
Even there was fine linen.
Whew! Too bad Mable lives over the stable.
Four year old said, "This vacuum sweeper hose can make a pony tail."
"Oh?" "I can't wait to see the end of this tale."
Holding the hose to his little sister's head,
Sure enough there arose a pony tail instead.
Never again doubt the ingenuity of a male!
Complained Janie,"Gossip has changed for all time.
When I was a girl we had the telephone party line.
Straight from the horse's mouth, the latest.
We babbled secrets, the greatest!
Here and now it takes at least a day or three or four.
Murial advised, "You may as well learn the town small.
It's true folks may be off the wall.
But no matter how big the berg,
The rules are the same for the herd.
Anything goes, survival of the fittest and all.
He spoke with a twinkle in his eye.
"It's bananas for dinner, and pie.
Now son, you know what he means,
We are really having beans.
The shapes the same he reasons, "Would I lie?"
If we were doing a brave, good thing,
Dad had a compliment to bring.
He asked, "What's the name please?"
It was just to tease.
As if 'til now, no name, bird on the wing.
The aged coyote eyed the cowboy so old.
While he stood with brazen gaze and bold.
He said, "Its been a long haul old man."
"You know we both started with no plan."
Glared the cowboy, "Just your hide on a pole."
Tough old cowboy worked a lifetime's bit.
Asking not for reason or rhyme knit.
Finally day came with arthritis.
"Let me know when you need to end this."
"Wal now, Suh," "I think this 'ar 'hit."
Injun Joe say, "Injun's do it then talk about it.
"White man talk about it, don't do it."
Injun Joe's wife say, "Him full of it."
There was a girl who lost a shoe.
Absolutely, completely, its color, blue.
She was so terribly frustrated.
And so afraid of being berated.
Painted her toe nails on one side, went anyway.
There was an old lady who lived
on a Cul de Sac
She had an old dog and his name was decidedly Jack
Jack worried the cat, the neighbor, and a chick,
So Jack, one day, was at the end of a brick.
Gettin' along, Jack never seemed to get the knack.
"What?" "You think I'm
"And you know I'm slithering?"
"Aw No!" "I'm just too tired to get out of bed."
"Can't help it if I'm just about dead."
She replied. And with a look quite withering.