Have a neighbor for sale,
Lay your money down, he's yours to keep.
But like the birds and bees, and rabbits,
You must be aware he has his habits.
He will burn trash on a Monday or Sunday
Won't even bother to let the wind lay.
If you can stand the explosion of aerosol can
And, don't even think of the burn ban.
Oh yes, one other thing you should know.
He's a cop and he does shift work, easy flow.
Keep kids and dogs in while he naps,
Guests, mailman, delivery, please no taps.
So if you don't mind gasping for breath,
While he burns mattress, tires the rest,
It is a heck of deal, "I'm tellin' you,"
The gun he packs keeps away a few.