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Hoo Can Ye Howp Tae Charm Oor Lassies

Composed by John Henderson on the 3rd of April, 2008
to Percy Wenrich's 1919 tune to 'How Are We Going To Wet Our Whistle'.

Heilanders wha weer thur tartan kilts an sporrans,
They leuk sae braw they affen catch the een;
Ye Sass'nachs wi sillar jinglin i' yir pooches
Fin-oot oor weemin lik a diff'rent teen;
E'en ye dince the echtsome reel aroon the flair,
Yir birls wull nivver mak thon lassies stare ....
Hoo can ye howp tae charm oor lassies,
Fan ye've lang breeks ow'r ilk pin?
Hoo are they gaen tae ken ye're wirth the hivin,
Wi' yir flesh an aa yir muscles happit in?
Ye rowled oor kwintry back in history,
Bit oor weemin ye'll fin ull e're-tae win.
Ach !
Hoo can ye howp tae charm oor lassies,
Fan ye've lang breeks ow'r ilk pin?

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